What? Seriously?

Ask me to help pay for the burial of homeless and/or poor people, not for a dead millionaire who leaves an estate that’s worth more than $500 million.

Only in L.A. would an assclown politician ask for donations to help bury a guy who’s worth half a billion dollars.

Tell you what, Villaraigosa: How about you have your office write up a big fat bill for the event, send it on over to me, and I’ll gladly hand-deliver the fucking thing to the Jackson family’s front door in Encino.

Grow some balls, boy.

Do you know how many regular funerals $4 million would cover? A ton.

If Michael Jackson truly was as charitable as they’ve made him out to be, he too would’ve seen the disgusting hypocrisy in even asking for this money.

To anyone considering donating: Don’t.

To anyone who already did: Dumbass.

Eat the rich,

-Shady

…titled “The Lyrics Born Variety Show: Season Pho (4!)” It’s a 22-track digital release and is less than five bucks!

So if you’re a Lyrics Born fan and are looking for some new music at a cheap price, click here.

If you’re not familiar with Lyrics Born, here’s a track for “Callin’ Out”:

As well as this awesome track he did with Rjd2 and Diverse called “Explosive”:

Callin’ out,

-Shady

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…as the Mad Hatter in Tim Burton’s upcoming take on “Alice in Wonderland”:

The Mad Hatter in "Alice in Wonderland"

But I had not yet seen this poster of Matt Lucas playing both Tweedledee and Tweedledum:

Tweedledee & Tweedledum in "Alice in Wonderland"

Awesome.

Eat me,

-Shady

Back when I was running “Tastes Like Chicken” we used to do a section called “Sketchbook.”

“Sketchbook” was a simple yet awesome idea that was thought up (I think, and forgive me if I’m wrong here) by Erik Rose.

The idea is this: A group of artists are given either a word or a short phrase. They then create a piece of art, usually a simple, quick sketch, and send it on over in an email.

Here’s an early example of it; the assigned word was “Poe.”

I loved this idea back when we were doing it for “TLC” and would like to revisit it on “The Blarg” every now and then. It will appear more sporadically than before, one every two months or so, but if anyone is interested either let me know in a comment below or email me at justin@tlchicken.com.

I’ll then compile a contributor’s list and send out a sketch topic along with a due date. If you aren’t interested in doing a specific one or can’t meet a deadline, no sweat. Just try your hand at the next one. Nothing is required. If you do one, awesome. If not, no big deal.

I won’t post the topic on the site, only the finished pieces of art after the deadline passes. I will link each piece to the artist’s website (if they have one), and will post a link to each new entry on both Facebook and Twitter.

And yes, I will also be participating.

This is open to everyone. If you’re an artist, awesome. If you’re not, still awesome. If you’re a photographer but not an illustrator, sweet. Like to make sculptures or edit videos? Still cool. The more diverse these pieces can be, the better.

So yeah, if you’re interested in at least trying it out, let me know. And if you have any artist friends who might be interested, pass this along to them.

I know a lot of us art school kids get burnt out on making shit after graduation, so hopefully this will at least serve as a way to keep our hands (and our brains) busy.

Etch a sketch,

-Shady

…right here:

The A-holes taste funny,

-Shady

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"Anchorman"

…I will be at the San Diego Comic Con on Saturday, July 25th and Sunday, July 26th.

I’ll be signing books (or anything else you care to have my name scribbled on) at the Shadowline/Silverline booth on Saturday from 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM, and on Sunday from 11:00 AM to noon.

There’s also a chance that my sister Bethany, who I collaborated on “I Beg Your Pardon” with, might also be at the table during those same times. So if you’re Con bound that weekend, stop by the booth and meet some Shadys.

These times could change, but if they do I’ll be sure to post updated information as the date gets closer.

Whale’s vagina,

-Shady

After Blarging about the trailer for “Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus” a couple months ago, I finally got a chance to watch it last night.

Here’s the quick of it:

1.) Debbie Gibson… er, excuse me: Deborah Gibson’s performance was nothing short of constipated. And I mean that literally: Every face she made–whether it was one of concern, fear, anger or crazed lust for her Asian love interest–looked as if she desperately wanted to pinch a stink, but no amount of pushing was going to make it drop. If you’re looking for a more convincing performance from Miss Electric Youth, check out her March 2005 spread in “Playboy” magazine.

2.) Amazingly, for a movie that has both “mega shark” and “giant octopus” in its title, there really isn’t a whole lot of either in the movie. If you watched the trailer you’ve pretty much seen all of the “good” parts. Of course, there are a handful of giant-animal gems that they didn’t include in the trailer, but they are minimal. Much like the movie’s budget.

3.) Steven Seagal called, Lorenzo Lamas. He wants his douchey, pony-mullet hairdo back when you’re done with it.

4.) At one point, while standing on a beach next to a dead whale, Gibson’s character turns to one of her fellow scientists and says, “Come on. Let’s get a drink.” The next scene, however, is not in a bar, but back on the beach with the two of them drinking what appears to be homemade hooch out of bottles wrapped in brown paper bags. What kind of fucking scientists are you?!? Why not pour some out for all your dead homie scientists while you’re at it?!?

5.) Christ, I’m really struggling trying to come up with a fifth thing to say about this movie. Yeah, it’s that good. How about this: At least Tiffany* isn’t in it.

If you’re looking for better b-movies to laugh at and drink to, check out “Nightbeast”, “Frog-g-g!” and “The Shaft” with Naomi Watts.

Mega yawn,

-Shady

*Editor’s Note: For a more convincing performance from Tiffany, check out her April 2002 spread in “Playboy” magazine.

A friend of mine just sent me a link to Cinespia which appears to be a weekly event that’s held at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery here in Los Angeles.

Cinespia’s idea is simple: Take old movies, project them on the side of a mausoleum, and let folks enjoy the film (and some bring-your-own booze) as they sit and sip in the middle of a cemetery. Awesome.

And what’s the feature film on Saturday, July 25th? “The Muppet Movie.”

What’s cooler than sitting on top of a bunch of dead people while the Muppets are projected on the wall of a structure that contains dead people? That’s right, nothing.

The only problem? I’ll be in San Diego at the Comic Convention that weekend. Bah!

Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll play “The Dark Crystal” in August.

You’ve won this time, Cinespia! But this fight is far from over!

Learn more about Cinespia here.

Moving right along,

-Shady

I just uploaded some photos from the Fourth of July holiday weekend. This batch includes photos of Batcaves!

The Bronson Caves at Griffith Park

Eggplants!

Karen's eggplant!

And more pictures of cigars!

Shady and cigar

Check all of ‘em out here.

To the Batmobile,

-Shady

…the Secretary of Defense under JFK and LBJ, died today at the age of 93.

If you haven’t done so already, rent Errol Morris’ mesmerizing documentary “The Fog of War: Eleven Lessons from the Life of Robert S. McNamara.”

And by “rent” I mean “pick it up from your local library.” (That’s for you, Ces!)

Here’s the trailer:

-Shady

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