Kpolly's "Fake A$$ Rappers"!

…which is an art book that collects a series of fictional hip-hop portraits.

Yes, you read that correctly. And yes, it’s just as genius as it sounds.

Learn more about Kristopher Pollard’s work here, and then check out a few of these fake-a$$ rappers here.

He rhymes the word Pikachucifix,



…for these sweet-ass Sconnie sunglasses!

Wisconsin proud,


After four years... FINALLY!

…in Napa four years ago. We said we wouldn’t open it until we had a special occasion to celebrate.

Last week Monday, production on Vendetta wrapped in Vancouver. Tuesday night, we emptied the bottle.

Worth the wait,


…for picking up these personalized pickle ornaments while she was in Hilton Head, South Carolina a few weeks ago.

She got me a “Justin” pickle…

Personalized Justin Pickle!

…but apparently, “Katherine” is too weird a name to put on a pickle, so Marla picked up this “Special Friend” one for KB.

Personalized Special Friend Pickle!

KB is legally changing her name to Special Friend,


"Who is your daddy and what does he do?"

I know it might seem like I sit at home all day long, drinking whiskey and updating The Blarg, but the truth is I spend much of my day writing.

Lately, most of that writing has been on long-form projects, like screenplays, teleplays, detailed pitches, and (those ever-dreaded) rewrites. The shortest of these projects come in around 30 pages; the longest ones top out around 120.

Because of this, I sometimes take an hour or so to write a short comedic sketch (between one to ten pages) to break up the monotony of those more long-form projects. Over the past couple years I’ve written about a dozen of them; but while they’re fun to write as an exercise, nobody ever really gets to read them.

So to remedy this, I’ve decided to put them out there for everyone to read. I’m doing this for two reasons:

1. I like to share! That, and it’s better than having them sit on my hard drive until I’m dead.

2. It’s my hope that someone out there might be inspired to actually do something with them. Want to film it as a short? Awesome. Interested in animating it? Go for it. Feel like performing it onstage somewhere? I double-dog dare you. All I ask is that you give me credit where it’s due, and (if possible) send me a copy of the final product to check out. I’ll even put it up on The Blarg to share with the four people who visit my site. Hi, Ciappa!

The ninth of Shady’s Shorts is called “Kindergarten Cop 2.”

Download it by clicking below.


Number eight,


“Kindergarten Cop 2″ is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Created by Justin Shady, ©2014.
Creative Commons License

See ya...

...faded signs.

…so after many months, we no longer need these faded signs on our front door.

Now if we could just teach Meatshake to not pee on us while we sleep,


Don't have to buy any of that crap for the next year! Or month, at least.

They were just going to throw it out anyway,


Pars Cove: A restaurant of causal intimate dining.

Then be sure to check out Pars Cove!

Not sure where one would go for casual intimate dining though,


My new money clip!

The bowler would approve.

Could only have been cooler if it looked like the actual banana stand,


Summerfest Tickets = FOUND! But of no use to anyone anymore.

…I finally found those Summerfest tickets you asked me to give away.

Nine days too late,



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