This is so damn dumb…

…but I laugh my ass off every time I see it on TV.

-Shady

What’s the difference between an Alaskan governor and a cuntbag?

Alaskan cuntbag and presidential hopeful John McFrankenstein.

Nothing.

-Shady

Holy shit, could it be that I love…

…gulp… Matt Damon?!?

I think it IS true. My Lord.

-Shady

An IM conversation with my loving sister…

The following is a real IM conversation I had with my sister at 1:13 AM:

Sister of Tender Branson says: u still up?

Tender Branson says: yap

Sister of Tender Branson says: i just wanted to let you know

Sister of Tender Branson says: that i just farted and got a poopstain

Sister of Tender Branson says: hahahaha!

Tender Branson says: HAHAHAHAHA!

Tender Branson says: oh, man

Sister of Tender Branson says: my undies are hanging from the towel rack

Yeah… we’re close like that.

-Shady