…helping someone move last Friday.

I thought that by moving over 2,000 miles away from almost everyone I knew would prevent this from happening. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

But that’s not the story I want to tell today. The story I want to tell is this:

While bringing boxes into my friend’s place I noticed a guy walking away from her building who, from behind at least, looked a lot like Buzz Osborne from The Melvins.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “You saw the back of someone, Shady. How could you tell who that person was by their back?”

Well, because Buzz Osborne of The Melvins looks like this:

When you look like this, it's hard not to be recognized.

When you look like this, it's hard not to be recognized.

Yeah. Pretty unique look Buzz has going on, right?

Anyway, I didn’t see his face, but I made a mental note that the back of the man I saw must have been Buzz from The Melvins.

A few hours go by and, once again, I’m out on the street grabbing boxes when I see the same guy down the block, this time walking towards me. I slow down, waiting for him to pass.

He’s talking on his cell phone and getting closer. I think it’s him… maybe? When he’s about twenty feet away, he reaches into his pocket and pulls a piece of paper out. As he does so, something falls out of his pocket and on to the ground.

“What should I do?” I wonder. “He’s on the phone with someone. Should I interrupt him? And even if I should, what would I say? ‘Hey, maybe Buzz guy. You dropped something.'”

We pass, and now I’m almost positive it’s him. If I only had one final piece of evidence to prove it.

I keep walking down the sidewalk, quickly approaching the item he dropped. I decide that if it looks important enough, I’ll run after him and give it back.

I stand over it and look down:

I knew it!

I knew it!

It was Buzz. And he’s not getting this back. Mainly because he probably has a toilet bowl full of them at home.

King Buzzo,

-Shady

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