…helping someone move last Friday.
I thought that by moving over 2,000 miles away from almost everyone I knew would prevent this from happening. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
But that’s not the story I want to tell today. The story I want to tell is this:
While bringing boxes into my friend’s place I noticed a guy walking away from her building who, from behind at least, looked a lot like Buzz Osborne from The Melvins.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “You saw the back of someone, Shady. How could you tell who that person was by their back?”
Well, because Buzz Osborne of The Melvins looks like this:
Yeah. Pretty unique look Buzz has going on, right?
Anyway, I didn’t see his face, but I made a mental note that the back of the man I saw must have been Buzz from The Melvins.
A few hours go by and, once again, I’m out on the street grabbing boxes when I see the same guy down the block, this time walking towards me. I slow down, waiting for him to pass.
He’s talking on his cell phone and getting closer. I think it’s him… maybe? When he’s about twenty feet away, he reaches into his pocket and pulls a piece of paper out. As he does so, something falls out of his pocket and on to the ground.
“What should I do?” I wonder. “He’s on the phone with someone. Should I interrupt him? And even if I should, what would I say? ‘Hey, maybe Buzz guy. You dropped something.'”
We pass, and now I’m almost positive it’s him. If I only had one final piece of evidence to prove it.
I keep walking down the sidewalk, quickly approaching the item he dropped. I decide that if it looks important enough, I’ll run after him and give it back.
I stand over it and look down:
It was Buzz. And he’s not getting this back. Mainly because he probably has a toilet bowl full of them at home.