Yesterday, a ton of news outlets picked up the story of Donna Simpson. Click here to learn more.

The short of the story is this: Donna Simpson is currently the world’s 43rd heaviest woman at a weight of over 600 pounds. But everyone knows that being 43rd in something is simply being the 42nd loser, so Simpson is trying to gain an additional 400+ pounds so she can become the world’s heaviest woman.

But here’s the thing: I’m not convinced this story is true. First, no one interviewed her on camera for the story; everything that exists is just a bunch of random quotes that sound fake. Second, all of the news articles say she’s utilizing a website to raise money to fund her gluttony, yet not one of them linked to it. Also, a quick Google search for the site turned up nothing.

I’m calling it now: This is either a headline from “The Onion” or a great prank, and everyone (from “The Huffington Post” to “The New York Post”) is falling for it hook, line and sinker.

Time will tell if I’m right, I guess.

I’d be happy being the 43rd anything in the world,

-Shady

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