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…but unfortunately, I somehow managed to lose the AC adapter.

The hard drive itself doesn’t have the adapter’s specifications listed on it, so I emailed Sabrent’s tech support the following email:

From: Justin Shady
Sent: Friday, October 17, 2014 2:58 PM
To: support@sabrent.com
Subject: AC Adapter

I own this external HD.

Unfortunately, I lost the power/AC adapter. I’m trying to replace it, but I can’t figure out what the volts/amps are for this model. Is it possible to get that information from Sabrent so I can have it replaced? I have files on the drive that I desperately need to retrieve ASAP.

Any help would be appreciated.

Best,

Justin Shady

A couple hours later, I received this email:

On Oct 17, 2014, at 5:44 PM, helpdesk@sabrent.com wrote:

This video shows the power cord and its details.

To which I replied this:

Are you being serious right now? You send me a 16-minute video that someone else shot that shows an out-of-focus closeup of the adapter? THIS is what Sabrent’s answer to tech support is?

Who’s on the other end of this email, a lazy teenage boy replying to emails half-assed in between spank sessions in his mom’s basement? Sheesh.

Tell you what, I made a video for you to watch:

It’s of me being unimpressed with your solution. It’s only 20 seconds long, so you’ll have to watch it 48 times in a row for it to be as long and boring as the video you sent me a link to.

Hoping Sabrent is out of business soon,

-Shady

AMERICAN GOTH!

…American Goth!

Strangely, when we went shopping for our outfits this was the bag they came in.

Freaky.

Weird.

Didn’t have to celebrate Halloween in November this year,

-Shady

Maybe it's both.

Or milk.

Definitely one of those two,

-Shady

No, seriously... THEY! POOP! CANDY!

…for these awesome Monster Poopers!

They poop candy! I repeat: THEY! POOP! CANDY!

About to have a side of monster poop with my vodka,

-Shady

Mmmm... yes.

…for this yummy bottle of Middle West Spirits’ Oyo Honey Vanilla Bean vodka!

Just like me, it made it back safely to L.A.

I thank you. My liver hates you. Just kidding, you guys are the best!

Cracking it open right… now,

-Shady

MORE ALLERGY HAZARD!!

Does the Allergy Hazard!! come with the meal, or do I have to pay extra for it?

Menus have the best typos,

-Shady

Is this a fucking joke?

…you can take us off your mailing list and go fuck yourself.

He should be marched into Lake Michigan,

-Shady

He DOES have a point.

Before takeoff, the pilot came over the speakers and said, “We’d like to welcome the Los Angeles Dragons onboard tonight after their big win last night!”

I don’t know what the L.A. Dragons are but I’m assuming they’re a sports team, as a bunch of meatheads wearing medals started cheering and chanting loudly together in a standard, testosterone-fueled ritual that one would only believe truly happens in the movies.

While they were congratulating each other on… whatever, this thought went through my head: “Please don’t let George Costanza be right. One would assume, at some point, that an entire sports team would be entirely wiped out in a plane crash, and it would be just my luck that I’d have to spend my last few fleeting moments of life with these assholes.”

The plane didn’t crash, and I’m sure the L.A. Dragons are continuing to celebrate their victory somewhere. George Costanza was wrong. This time.

If there had to be meatheads on my flight I wish they would’ve been wrestlers,

-Shady

Wait a second, wait a second, it's coming to me... nope.

I sure don’t, Lille. I sure don’t.

I got Sloth eyes in that photo,

-Shady

SUCCESS! ISH!

Or, at least for now, success-ish!

Mr. Fabulous’ eye procedure (technically called an “intravitreal injection” or “chemical ablation,” but realistically called a “sharp needle jabbed into the eye”) went off without a hitch this morning.

We dropped her off at 10AM, and by 1PM she was ready for pickup.

She’ll be wearing the Cone of Shame for the next three days, have to get eyedrops six times a day for the next week, and have to go back in for a checkup in two weeks, but for now we’re just happy the procedure is behind us and that she’s doing well.

Or at least as well as can be expected for a dog who’ll have a satellite dish wrapped around her head for the next 72 hours.

DOG FROM MARS! DOG FROM MARS!

More updates as they come,

-Shady

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