Does the Allergy Hazard!! come with the meal, or do I have to pay extra for it?

Menus have the best typos,


Is this a fucking joke?

…you can take us off your mailing list and go fuck yourself.

He should be marched into Lake Michigan,


He DOES have a point.

Before takeoff, the pilot came over the speakers and said, “We’d like to welcome the Los Angeles Dragons onboard tonight after their big win last night!”

I don’t know what the L.A. Dragons are but I’m assuming they’re a sports team, as a bunch of meatheads wearing medals started cheering and chanting loudly together in a standard, testosterone-fueled ritual that one would only believe truly happens in the movies.

While they were congratulating each other on… whatever, this thought went through my head: “Please don’t let George Costanza be right. One would assume, at some point, that an entire sports team would be entirely wiped out in a plane crash, and it would be just my luck that I’d have to spend my last few fleeting moments of life with these assholes.”

The plane didn’t crash, and I’m sure the L.A. Dragons are continuing to celebrate their victory somewhere. George Costanza was wrong. This time.

If there had to be meatheads on my flight I wish they would’ve been wrestlers,


Wait a second, wait a second, it's coming to me... nope.

I sure don’t, Lille. I sure don’t.

I got Sloth eyes in that photo,



Or, at least for now, success-ish!

Mr. Fabulous’ eye procedure (technically called an “intravitreal injection” or “chemical ablation,” but realistically called a “sharp needle jabbed into the eye”) went off without a hitch this morning.

We dropped her off at 10AM, and by 1PM she was ready for pickup.

She’ll be wearing the Cone of Shame for the next three days, have to get eyedrops six times a day for the next week, and have to go back in for a checkup in two weeks, but for now we’re just happy the procedure is behind us and that she’s doing well.

Or at least as well as can be expected for a dog who’ll have a satellite dish wrapped around her head for the next 72 hours.


More updates as they come,


None of this has been easy.

This Tuesday, Mr. Fabulous will undergo an intravitreal injection (also known as a chemical ablation) for her glaucoma-riddled eye. Basically, this is an injection into the eye that halts the further production of fluids. This will essentially kill the eye and reduce the pressure, hopefully, allowing us to go entirely off her ridiculous 14-times-a-day eyedrops once and for all. Fingers crossed.

Also, unlike the other options, Fab won’t have to be fully put under during the procedure, which is a huge plus.

I’ll be sure to post a status update once the procedure is done, along with photos of Fab with a cone of shame on her head. At least that will be worth it.

Thanks to everyone for the interest, love, and support these past few months. It means a lot to us. And Mr. Fabulous.

It’s about goddamn time,


Feel like I've been waiting a whole year for this shit!

Christmas ain’t got shit on this,




Samuel L. Jackson is on it,


KB's cousin Chris visits!

…and I drank a whole lot of beer while he was here.

Still trying to get back to pre-Disney weight,



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