I forgot to post this!

From 1987 to 1994, I grew up with a kid named Andrew Gorell.

During those seven years, we went to both the same middle school (Jackie Robinson) and high school (Riverside University) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

As is so often the case, after our high school graduation in June 1994, we lost touch. Andrew went off to study theater, and I moved to Ohio to double major in immaturity and binge drinking.

There was one night (I think it was during Thanksgiving break in 1998, if I remember correctly) when a gang of us old Riverside kids met up at a bar on Milwaukee’s east side for a few drinks, but other than that one extremely brief get-together it had been nearly two decades since I last saw Andrew.

And then last November happened.

A few months earlier, Andrew hit me up on Facebook to let me know that he was going to be in L.A. for two months performing at the Pantages with the touring production of The Lion King. (Andrew performs Zazu.)

During those eight weeks, Andrew and I celebrated both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day together. We also had the opportunity to catch up a couple times over some beers, and he even made it out to a Food Night.

In early January, The Lion King moved on to Honolulu. Andrew moved with it. Still, I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend after all those years.

Let’s not let another two decades pass before we see each other again, Andrew.

He was there when I sliced my knee open at Universal in the seventh grade,

-Shady

In 1997…

…I was a junior in college and taking a video class with Kon Petrochuk at the Columbus College of Art & Design (CCAD) in Columbus, Ohio.

That year, I created a bunch of different videos for Kon’s class (many of which are now trapped on Hi8 tapes in a Rubbermaid container in my dad’s basement).

Last year, CCAD hosted an alumni get-together here in L.A. and who should show up but Kon Petrochuk! Over a few free beers, Kon mentioned that he remembered a video project I created for his class. In fact, he said that he regularly showed said project to his video class at the start of each school year.

When Kon got back to Ohio he sent me the video on a DVD. Now, nearly seventeen years after I created it, I’m putting it up here on the Blarg.

The video is a pastiche of both shot and found footage. It comes together as an unofficial music video of sorts for Soul Coughing’s song “Screenwriter’s Blues” from their 1994 debut album Ruby Vroom.

A few old CCAD friends make brief appearances including Jamie Bowers (I think those are her hands, if I remember correctly), Marcia Blanchard (she’s the one spinning), Mike Olenick (he’s one of the lovers who murder each other), and Jamie Breitsch (that’s her ear repeated over and over again).

You’ll probably also notice a quick glimpse of Drew Barrymore’s breasts from an old issue of Playboy.

Anyway, on to the video!

You are… listening,

-Shady

Holy shit, this is a real product.

They clearly didn’t run that name past a marketing person,

-Shady

If I Wrote Dialogue For Famous Movies #1

CARRIE

Mama, I just had the shittiest prom ever.
I need you trying to kill me like I need
a goddamn hole in my head.

I think these are gonna be fun,

-Shady

You’re so formal, Beats Music. Please, just call me Shady.

Can’t wait to dive in,

-Shady

I FINALLY FOUND IT!

The Human Torch was denied a bank loan,

-Shady

Tomorrow night, famous rich folks will be drinking this wine at the Oscars.

Tonight, we’re drinking it.

KB gets all the perks… or at least one of them,

-Shady

VIOLENT WINDS! FLASH FLOODS! TORRENTIAL DOWNPOURS! MUDSLIDES!

I couldn’t be happier.

Hopefully it will stay like this until October,

-Shady

If you saw me in the last two years or so…

…chances are I was wearing these shoes.

Those Kermit-centric Adidas were given to me by a friend as a Christmas present back in 2011. Since then, I’ve worn them pretty much every day. They were my meeting shoes of choice (they always sparked a conversation), and have touched the ground of eight different countries (nine, I guess, if you include the U.S.).

To be read: Over the last two-plus years, these shoes have been extremely loved.

Sadly, that love was starting to show, and a couple of holes in the soles recently sealed their fate.

So farewell, old friend! I loved slipping my feet into you.

Man, that sounds so dirty.

But wait! Is that a new pair of sweet Adidas I see approaching on the horizon?

Indeed it is!

Also, I’m not entirely saying goodbye. I kept a couple of souvenirs.

It’s shoe hard… to say goodbye… to yesterday,

-Shady

Brussels: The Cool Kids Bar

Last February, after the Berlinale, KB and I took a side trip to Budapest with our good friend Emily. While there, we visited the House of Hungarian Wines, where this happened.

On this year’s post-Berlinale adventure, KB, Emily, and I were joined by our good friend Rebecca. The four of us decided to drive to Brussels for a quick three-night/four-day Belgian trip.

We hit up a ton of bars during our short stay, but there was one bar in particular that we really wanted to get into. We dubbed it “The Cool Kids Bar,” not because that’s what it was called, but because every time we’d try and go it would be packed with people who would just stare out the windows at us, as if to say, “Not for you, Americans. You are neither cool nor kids.”

But on our last night there we tried one last time… and found an open table!

We went in and toasted our first beers of the evening to the Cool Kids Bar.

By the second round, Emily was already getting bored with the conversation.

By the third beer, KB was falling asleep at the table. I know, big shock.

By beer number four, KB was down for the count, which encouraged some bribery and pranks between Emily and Rebecca.

By our fifth beer, KB exploded from her sleep coma with fisticuffs!

But by our sixth and final round, the girls were friends again.

And then they made out.

I’m not sharing those photos,

-Shady

PS: If you ever find yourself in Brussels, the bar is actually called Au Daringman.