QUOTE BOARD #120: Beth, 7/8/21

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern-day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“Oh, that is a sexy garbage bag.”

– Beth, 7/8/21

Goddamn right it is,

-Shady

HAPPY SIXTH BIRTHDAY, GREY DANGER!

You’ve come a long way, baby,

-Dad

I seriously read the first part of this headline as…

…Excessive Drinking Rosé During the Pandemic.

And immediately I was like: “Go on….”

My liver be crying,

-Shady

QUOTE BOARD #119: Justin, 4/26/21

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern-day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“I keep my butthole closed so things can’t get in there. Like bats.”

– Justin, 4/26/21

Even I make it onto the board every once in awhile,

-Shady

I took a gummy last night…

…and woke up with this written on my hand. Yes, in my handwriting.

And I have absolutely no idea what it means.

So yeah… five bucks to the first person to decipher it!

Living a super relaxed Memento,

-Shady

Seems like a reasonable request.

That door opens to a restaurant patio,

-Shady

Getting time shamed by Chuck D…

…on Twitter is easily the highlight of 2021 so far.

Can’t truss time,

-Shady

QUOTE BOARD #118: Dad, 4/5/21

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern-day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“Ahhh! You look like that pig lady from The Twilight Zone!”

– Dad, 4/5/21

He was pretty spot-on,

-Shady

My good friend Mercedes Helnwein…

…has a new book out today. It’s titled Slingshot.

Pick up a copy at your local independent bookstore… now!

-Shady

We’ve clearly been friends too long, Milan.

At least we’ll be together in Hell,

-Shady