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Have you seen the Quizno’s commercials where someone eats a $5 bill?

If not, check it out for yourself here:

Yeah, the commercial is lame. But what makes the commercial sad is that underneath the money-eating old lady they had to put “Dramatization. Do not attempt.”

If you’re so dumb that this commercial makes you eat your own money, you deserve to starve to death.

Protecting money from morons since 2008,


You know those emails that are like:

“I am the sole heir of Prince Abubu, who died horribly last month in a rhino stampede. He left four brillion dollars to me, but I need to get it out of the country before the flying monkeys come! If you just give me your bank account routing number, mother’s maiden name, Social Security number and Yahoo password I will split the fortune with you!”

Well, today I woke up to this email. I’ve gone ahead and published it verbatim:

Sent: Thu 6/12/2008 7:52 AM

Subject: Get Back

I am Peter Wong from Bank Hang Seng Hong Kong. I have a late client funds of $8 USD in my bank, and I need you to front as beneficiary, if interested.


Mr. P. Wong

Am I interested?!? In getting eight dollars for FREE?!? You’re goddamn right, I am! I better email Mr. P. Wong back before I miss out on this golden opportunity!

$8 won’t even buy you two gallons of gas,


David Motari = Fuckhole

so someone can be “creative” with him and throw his macho ass off a cliff.

I wanted to share this without linking the actual video because that just perpetuates the stupidity of cavemen like Motari. But basically, all you need to know is this: Motari threw a fucking LIVE PUPPY off of a cliff, and was dumb enough to have his fellow Marine dickhead friends tape it.

They all laughed as it yelped its way down the cliff.

That alone would be bad enough. But what’s worse is Motari’s personal page on which claims that he actually did the puppy a favor, because it just would have died of starvation had he not thrown it over a cliff.

David Motari is STILL a fuckhole.

You’re a poster child for why abortion should stay legal, BOY. Your dad should have done the world a favor and dump-trucked you onto your mom’s stomach. Fucking monster.

So yeah, for the first time ever I think the war in Iraq is a noble cause, but only if David Motari is on the frontlines. Unfortunately, the Marines decided to expel him from the Corps. That’s like being let go from the Nazi Party for being too harsh.

One puppy is worth a thousand David Motaris,


Old Poop!