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Have you seen the Quizno’s commercials where someone eats a $5 bill?

If not, check it out for yourself here:

Yeah, the commercial is lame. But what makes the commercial sad is that underneath the money-eating old lady they had to put “Dramatization. Do not attempt.”

If you’re so dumb that this commercial makes you eat your own money, you deserve to starve to death.

Protecting money from morons since 2008,


You know those emails that are like:

“I am the sole heir of Prince Abubu, who died horribly last month in a rhino stampede. He left four brillion dollars to me, but I need to get it out of the country before the flying monkeys come! If you just give me your bank account routing number, mother’s maiden name, Social Security number and Yahoo password I will split the fortune with you!”

Well, today I woke up to this email. I’ve gone ahead and published it verbatim:

Sent: Thu 6/12/2008 7:52 AM

Subject: Get Back

I am Peter Wong from Bank Hang Seng Hong Kong. I have a late client funds of $8 USD in my bank, and I need you to front as beneficiary, if interested.


Mr. P. Wong

Am I interested?!? In getting eight dollars for FREE?!? You’re goddamn right, I am! I better email Mr. P. Wong back before I miss out on this golden opportunity!

$8 won’t even buy you two gallons of gas,


Old Poop!