You are currently browsing the monthly archive for January 2009.

…Puscifer!

In the meantime, spend the next four minutes and thirty-six seconds with Major Douche:

Tool was the creepiest live performance I’ve ever seen,

-Shady

…from Miller Brewing Company!

Sounds stupid, right? Wrong.

You see, one 30-second spot during next Sunday’s Super Bowl game costs nearly $3 million. That’s $100,000 per second! And, chances are, most of these spots will be either:

A) lame
B) ignored, or
C) lame and ignored

But the brilliant folks at Miller Brewing Company have decided to stretch their millions out over numerous one-second spots instead of shooting their entire load on a 30-second commercial.

The commercials that will actually end up running during the Super Bowl aren’t available, but if you hop on over to Miller’s 1-Second Ad site you’ll be able to check out some of the spots that didn’t make the cut. And while you’re there, be sure to watch the 30-second spot that basically serves as a commercial for the commercials.

So good. So smart. So beery.

The Champagne of Smarts,

-Shady

This season of “Lost” is gonna be extra special!

Of course, my pal Jorge will do a sweet job playing Hurley (as always), but in addition to that, my kid sister Bethany will be appearing as a regular extra this season.

I can’t give any details, but I can say there’s going to be a group of people introduced and that she’s one of them.

So keep your eyes peeled for a petite girl with dark hair wearing a pirate-hookerish, purple meshy… shirt… thingy.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42,

-Shady

Ladies! Gentlemen! Lille!

Please welcome the newest member of our (now) four-member family: Meatshake!

Meatshake

Meatshake
Meatshake

Meatshake

Meatshake is a two-year-old Calico kitty we adopted from Los Angeles Animal Services. She’s wearing that silly cone on her head because she just got her lady parts cut out and she needs to wear it to keep her from pulling out the stitches.

Meatshake was named after an Ugly Duckling song called “Meatshake.” (Duh.) You can check out the song here:

So, welcome to the fold, Meatshake!

What flavor do you want? We’ve got chicken, pork or steak,

-Shady

With over 200 unique visitors, “The Blarg” had its biggest day to date!

So thanks to everyone who stopped by, and extra special love to those who passed along links.

Blowing up like Gaza,

-Shady

…right here:

I have to admit, they have my attention!

Already in my DVR,

-Shady

Dubya,

A few months ago, back when McCain still thought he had a chance, an angry old man took the mic while at a McCain/Palin rally that was being held in Waukesha, Wisconsin. He yelled and screamed about how mad he was, how pissed all conservatives were about what seemed to be an impending Obama win.

If this doesn’t ring a bell, here, check it out for yourself:

Now, what really surprised me about this guy’s comments was how much I could relate to what he was saying. No, I don’t have a fear of the “socialists taking over the country” like this guy clearly does. But I am mad, and have been for eight long years now.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have one ounce of sympathy for this guy or, for that matter, any of the people who feel  they “lost” on November 4th. These people are mad? They’re upset? They’re angry? Good. Welcome to the world I’ve been living in for the past eight years. You and your anger can go have a powwow in Fox News’ parking lot for all I care, because what you’ve been feeling these past two months pales in comparison to the disgust that has been growing inside of me like a parasite for nearly a decade.

And this, George W. Bush, is what you’ve made me. You, your monkeys and your collective blasé attitude towards anyone and anything that truly matters in the world fills me with such contempt for your miserable administration that it almost makes me embarassed to admit it.

Some people dealt with you with shrugged shoulders and a “What you gonna do?” attitude. And granted, for years we did very much the same thing: making fun of your hillbilly nature; poking fun at the fact that you’re barely smart enough to even swallow a pretzel correctly; shaking our heads in disbelief as you stumble and mumble and bumble over words that a sixth grader should know.

After all, you, George W. Bush, are a moron, so it’s been easy to make fun of you as such.

But your days in charge are now over, and you can take your wide-eyed, blank-stare wife with you back to Texas. You’re relieved of your duties.

But before you go, I wanted to give you a little going-away gift; something personal, just from me to you.

The gift I want to give you is my anger; my hatred; my contempt; my belief that people really were stupid enough to re-elect you; my disregard for everything that is good, everything that is meaningful, everything that shines brightly; my apathy, and any other negative thought or ounce of tissue that still exists in me today.

I give it all back to you because I don’t need it anymore. I’ve done what I could with it for these past eight years, and now I think it’s time for you to deal with it.

Tomorrow I will wake up a happier man, George W. Bush. But not as happy as the days when you, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Rice and Rove all leave this mortal coil.

On each of those glorious days I will throw a party for those closest to me, and we will all eat, drink, laugh and talk about how the world is now at least a tiny bit better.

Until then, may you disappear into complete obscurity, realizing little by little with each passing day that you were nothing more than an eight year-long bad joke; a crappy tourist-trap t-shirt; a forgotten cartoon character.

Nothing more.

May you remain that way forever.

Sincerely,

-Justin R. Shady

…right here:

Doug Andrews “Absaraka Runoff” – This tongue-twister title is singer/songwriter Doug Andrews’ first. Recorded in a small cabin at the foothills of the Bighorn Mountains in Wyoming, Andrews carved out this minimal guy-and-guitar eight-track disc entirely on his own. The result is reminiscent of a stripped-down James Taylor. This genre isn’t my usual musical fare, but the quality that Andrews puts forth is undeniable.

Nickel Eye “The Time of the Assassins” – This isn’t Nickelback, Nickel Creek or the Plugged Nickel (that’s for all you Columbus kids). This is Nickel Eye, as in the solo project of The Strokes’ bassist Nikolai Fraiture. Get it? Nikolai? Nickel Eye? Heh… yeah. Anyway, “The Time of the Assassins” is a departure from The Strokes’ sound, but I’m still not overly excited by what it offers. The album’s shining moments come in the form of its musical guests, with appearances from Yeah Yeah Yeahs guitarist Nick Zinner on “Dying Star,” and piano key pounder Regina Spektor on “Where the Cold Wind Blows.”

Pronto “All is Golden” – The recipe for Pronto is nothing short of intriguing: Wilco pianist/keyboardist Mikael Jorgensen fronts the band, and is joined by percussionist pal Greg O’Keeffe. Over time, the duo welcomed numerous friends into the studio including Matt Lux (Iron & Wine), Jim Becker (Califone) and Erik Paparazzi (Cat Power), among others. All this talent pools together to form thirteen tracks of piano-fronted pop that I can’t help but tap my foot to. Not all of it is my speed; some of it crosses the Ben Folds line a little too much for my tastes. (Sorry, Kevin and Laura!) Still, Pronto manages to become its own thing, which is more than I can say for most bands out there.

The BPA “I Think We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Boat” – A while ago, maybe even three or four months back, I saw this beautiful and brilliant video to The BPA’s David Byrne-fronted single “Toe Jam.”

Okay, seriously… let’s watch that again. And this time, keep an eye out for the cameo of Fatboy Slim himself as he swings his huge, monstrous wiener around.

Whew… anyway, that video quickly became one of my favorites (for obvious reasons), so when I got the CD in the mail the other day I was excited. The BPA stands for the Brighton Port Authority, and is essentially Norman Cook (Fatboy) and Simon Thornton, with a whole slew of musical guests. The twelve-track disc has some absolute gems (“He’s Frank (Slight Return)” with guest vocalist Iggy Pop; “Dirty Sheets” featuring Pete York; and “Spade” featuring Martha Wainwright) and some complete misses (“Superman,” which is fronted by Thornton himself, and “Superlover” featuring Cagedbaby). Of course, “Toe Jam” is great, but there is one huge mystery surrounding this album: Lateef the Truthspeaker is listed on both the CD and BPA’s website as being a musical guest, yet he doesn’t appear on one song on the album. Did I miss something? Is there a hidden track I can’t find, or did I get an incomplete version? Where is Lateef? I want answers!!! Still, it’s pretty good. Oh, and a special sidenote: The BPA has created a pretty great backstory for itself, saying that all of this music was actually recorded in the mid-seventies by Cook and Thornton, and only recently found in a box during a renovation of the dockside warehouse where The BPA’s recording studios once existed. It kind of reminded me of the story of Marvin Pontiac. It doesn’t add or take away from the music itself, but it definitely makes the story more fun.

Hot Chip “Made in the Dark EP”Hot Chip hands over four tracks from last year’s “Made in the Dark” full-length to jazz-rock pioneer Robert Wyatt and Geese (Emma and Vince from The Elysian Quartet) to create this four-song EP. Wyatt brings a soft hand to the mix, adding minimal lyrics and instrumentation to the already-airy tracks “Made in the Dark,” “Whistle for Will” and “We’re Looking For a Lot of Love.” But the more dance-friendly track “One Pure Thought” gets a complete makeover, giving listeners something more reminiscent of Air than Hot Chip. If you’re a Hot Chip fan, you’ll like these new takes on last year’s hits.

In between my toes,

-Shady

And finally, I’m done.

A-thank you!

The nightmare’s over,

-Shady

It’s coming. I promise.

-Shady

Old Poop!