If you’re anything like me, you think M. Night Shyamalan sucks.

In my opinion, he hasn’t made anything even mildly interesting since “The Sixth Sense,” yet he keeps churning out new crap every couple years.

Kathy snagged a free copy of “Signs” from work last week because she had never seen it. After subtly offering up my critique of the movie (to be read: “It’s one of the crappiest crap craps ever crapped out of Hollywood!”), we made some dinner and sat down together to watch it.

After all, I had only seen it once before, way back in 2002 when it first came out. And, who knows, maybe it gets better over time, like an expensive bottle of wine.

And so, I sat… I watched… AND I WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!

It’s still the crappiest crap craps ever crapped out of Hollywood. And now Kathy agrees.

But I’ve decided to turn something awful into something wonderful with this, The M. Night Shyamalan Poetry Contest!

The rules are simple:

1. Write a poem about M. Night Shyamalan in 100 words or less.

2. To go along with the theme of this contest, the crappier your poem is, the better.

3. Email your crappy poem to me at justin@tlchicken.com.

4. Deadline for contest entry is this Friday, December 4th.

One winner will win these crappy prizes:

1. DVD copy of the crappiest crap craps ever crapped out of Hollywood: “Signs”

2. The original crappy artwork of my crap drawing of Sloth and Bert for this month’s “Sketchbook” assignment:

Sketchbook: "Sloth" by Justin Shady

3. A crappy techno CD that I got for review that is total crap.

So… get to it!

I’ll leave you with my own (excluded) entry:

“If M. Night Shyamalan Wrote a Haiku”
By Justin Shady

Establishing shot
Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap
Dumb surprise ending

See how easy it is?!?

Bruce Willis is dead,


PS: All entries will be posted on “The Blarg.”