It’s not what you think it is.

I came home from a weekend trip late last night to three different emails from three different friends. All three emails pretty much said the same thing: “Boner is missing.”

For those of you who don’t know, “Boner” is actor Andrew Koenig. He played Richard “Boner” Stabone on “Growing Pains.” Last week, he went missing while in Vancouver. You can read more about this story here.

All of this Boner talk reminded me of a story. This isn’t exactly my story, but I was there when it happened. This is all 100% true.

Back in December 2001, my good friend Jason Latta and I took a train cross-country from Columbus, Ohio to Los Angeles for MuppetFest. MuppetFest was a two-day convention held at the Santa Monica Convention Center.

Yes, I’m a nerd! Shut it!

My sister Bethany and her boyfriend at the time, a guy named Ryan, drove down from San Francisco to attend the convention with us.

At one point during the convention, Ryan headed out to the lobby area to use the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to his seat laughing his ass off.

Ryan: “Guess who I just saw out in the lobby?”

Bethany: “Who?”

Ryan: “Boner!”

This led to a good laugh from all four of us because, well… let’s be honest here: The word “boner” is already funny; throw in a sighting of a cast member from “Growing Pains” and you’ve got yourself a laugh-riot. Especially if everyone in the group has the maturity level of an eight-year-old boy.

Ryan continued.

Ryan: “But that’s not even the best part. I was standing in line behind him when I recognized him, so I tapped him on the shoulder and said…”

(This is when the flashback begins.)

Ryan: “Hey, you’ve been on TV, right?”

Boner: “Yeah.”

Ryan: “Cool. I thought I recognized you.”

Ryan said a few seconds of awkwardness passed before he uttered out two tiny words that would forever become famous in the world of Justin Shady.

Ryan: “Booger, right?”

Boner: “No. Boner.”

Ryan said he looked defeated, crushed. But, goddamn, it made for a great story!

I hope you’re safe wherever you are, Boner!

Bone home,

-Shady

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