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…to know that Stegosaurus couldn’t spoon each other.

That’s the thought I woke up with today,


…as told in eighteen photos!

(Note: These were all shot with my phone so they’re kind of crappy.)

View from our room at Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall & Saloon!

KB ready to get her gamble on!

Christian Slater and Slash playing poker!

KB about to get mauled by a gigantic tiger!

Siegfried, Roy… and tiger!

I met The Rock on The Strip!

This gorilla punched KB in the face!

David’s junk!

The Disco Horse loves Dale Chihuly!

More tigers!

Bellagio water sports!


Lions sleeping above us!

KB winning!

KB winning again!

Vegas Vic on Fremont Street!

Us being tourists looking at other tourists being touristy!

Heading back home!

I took many more photos than that,


It might cost you.

Citibank customers noticed this fine print on their bank statements recently:

“Effective April 1, 2010, we reserve the right to require 7 days advance notice before permitting a withdrawal from all checking accounts. While we do not currently exercise this right and have not exercised it in the past, we are required by law to notify you of this change.”

Wanna grab a few twenties before you head out for the night? Well, you better have written Citibank a letter a week earlier and let them know.

Of course, Citibank tried to calm fears by saying they had to put this in their statements after they moved to unlimited FDIC coverage back in 2009. They stated they’ve never exercised this practice, nor do they plan to in the future. However, they also said they reserve the right to do so if they so choose.

With stricter credit card rules and regulations going into effect today, something tells me we’ll be seeing this fee become a standard practice sooner than later.

Just another reason to join a credit union.



It’s not what you think it is.

I came home from a weekend trip late last night to three different emails from three different friends. All three emails pretty much said the same thing: “Boner is missing.”

For those of you who don’t know, “Boner” is actor Andrew Koenig. He played Richard “Boner” Stabone on “Growing Pains.” Last week, he went missing while in Vancouver. You can read more about this story here.

All of this Boner talk reminded me of a story. This isn’t exactly my story, but I was there when it happened. This is all 100% true.

Back in December 2001, my good friend Jason Latta and I took a train cross-country from Columbus, Ohio to Los Angeles for MuppetFest. MuppetFest was a two-day convention held at the Santa Monica Convention Center.

Yes, I’m a nerd! Shut it!

My sister Bethany and her boyfriend at the time, a guy named Ryan, drove down from San Francisco to attend the convention with us.

At one point during the convention, Ryan headed out to the lobby area to use the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to his seat laughing his ass off.

Ryan: “Guess who I just saw out in the lobby?”

Bethany: “Who?”

Ryan: “Boner!”

This led to a good laugh from all four of us because, well… let’s be honest here: The word “boner” is already funny; throw in a sighting of a cast member from “Growing Pains” and you’ve got yourself a laugh-riot. Especially if everyone in the group has the maturity level of an eight-year-old boy.

Ryan continued.

Ryan: “But that’s not even the best part. I was standing in line behind him when I recognized him, so I tapped him on the shoulder and said…”

(This is when the flashback begins.)

Ryan: “Hey, you’ve been on TV, right?”

Boner: “Yeah.”

Ryan: “Cool. I thought I recognized you.”

Ryan said a few seconds of awkwardness passed before he uttered out two tiny words that would forever become famous in the world of Justin Shady.

Ryan: “Booger, right?”

Boner: “No. Boner.”

Ryan said he looked defeated, crushed. But, goddamn, it made for a great story!

I hope you’re safe wherever you are, Boner!

Bone home,


…this would have been my statement to the world:

“Fuck all of you vultures. I owe you nothing. So what? I slept with some chicks. I’m more famous than God and have more money than Jesus; this is what people like me do. Deal with it. Get a fucking life, leave me the fuck alone, and go fuck yourself. Amen… to me.”

Sadly, he vag’d out and begged for forgiveness. Yawn.

More pussy than tiger,


Look for my Twitter and Twitpic updates from Sin City!

Know when to hold ’em,


And no computer graphics were used?!? (Save for the diamonds and bottle of body wash popping out of the palm of his hand, of course.)





This post doesn’t even need words,


Check it out right… here!

Now with a band photo,


…has some new artwork up on his website that he’d like some feedback on.

Check it out here.

Pimpin’ ain’t easy,


Old Poop!