With Christmas just around the corner I’ve been bit by the bug of giving! And what better way to give things away than by holding a contest? But this isn’t just any contest, folks. This is the Worst Contest Ever! Literally.

Need proof? Look at these awesome prizes!

Prize packet includes:

– An autographed empty water bottle from the set of “Two and a Half Men.” (Note: Bottle contains one real autograph from Justin Shady and three fake autographs from the cast of “Two and a Half Men.”

– A water-damaged advance copy of People of Walmart: Shop & Awe.

– An old iPhone case!

– A burned CD of Daniel Tosh’s “True Stories I Made Up.” (Note: Tracks were accidentally burned out of order.)

– A pipe for smoking weed! (Or whatever!)

See? I told you it was the worst contest ever. I might even throw in some other garbage before the contest ends.

Wanna enter? Email me here with your name, age, address, and a brief description of the worst Christmas gift you ever received. (Bonus points if you can dig up a photo of you with the horrible item.)

Contest ends on Wednesday, December 22nd.

Good luck on being the “winner” of this horrible, terrible, awful contest!

I may even throw in a drawing,