…back in 2009 for this scathing post about the then-upcoming G.I. Joe movie.

A few people took issue with it because I bagged on the movie without ever having seen it. And, to date, I still haven’t.

I did, however, receive this email from my good friend Jocco yesterday:

Subject: Wow.

I couldn’t sleep last night and ended up watching “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” on Netflix at four in the morning. Have you seen this thing yet? Because, damn, the whole fucking shit-fest plot perpetrated by Cobra was just so that Zartan could replace the president.

Seriously, Zartan could have just waited in the fucking bathroom and replaced the president when he went to take a shit, thus saving Cobra billions of dollars in resources. Oh yeah, and Jonathan Pryce played the president… and he’s fucking British! Who the fuck doesn’t know you can’t be the fucking president unless you were born in this country?

And none of this is to mention the completely ridiculous and awkward flashbacks that happen every five minutes. Oh, and Snake Eyes’ mask has lips… Jesus. And not only is the Baroness an American, but she’s also Duke’s ex-girlfriend and used to be good until she got brainwashed by her brother… also known as Cobra fucking Commander.

That’s just the tip of the big, brown iceberg of doodie that is just one Wii click away for you. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but it was actually worse than I thought it was going to be.


PS: Cobra Commander’s real name is Rex.

Well, now I have to see it,