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…we rescued four feral kittens from an evil demon beast of a woman who disguises herself while here on Earth as our asshole neighbor. Here’s a photo of the four of them in the carrier after we rescued them. Only two of their faces are visible but the other two are tucked away in the back.

After a quick vet trip, some tests, vaccinations and a pricey bill, Kathy showed the four off to a few coworkers and got two of them adopted! We brought the other two home and gave them a flea bath. They weren’t happy about it at all.

We named the remaining two Dr. Teeth and Floyd Pepper.

So yeah, it’s two down and two to go. If you live in or near Los Angeles and want a free kitten email me here.

I kinda want to keep one,


…that transcribes her voicemails and then sends them to her in an email.

This past weekend, she got this transcribed voicemail emailed to her:

I guess soon. Can you call me back. I just wanna make sure that I got, saw total number of addresses and then again I’m I send you all the address. Been a busy got wall, but I think you sent me that address. And that’d be fine. Hey somebody by the name of phone so I can get one yeah Myer long. I think I even one more. So I just wanna double talking debit card, alright. Thank you will type stuff injury now and then I wanted to know if is, but that L also stuff in the form or Nazi patch you through it but I know it’s Anna, and you know. So, alright call. Thank you.

I guess an illiterate psychopath called her,


…for “OC Weekly” right here.

Under the three sheets to the wind,


Learn more here and here.

The opposite of this post,


…for this article in “OC Weekly.”



…right here:

Getting excited,



Four bucks for that whole jar,


…in this article I wrote for “OC Weekly.”

Totally unrealistic,


Last week, KB and I had an opportunity to see filmmaker Mark Wexler’s new documentary “How to Live Forever.” This week (or as soon as possible), you should do the same. Check out the trailer:

Despite the film’s (and humanity’s) obsession with death, “How to Live Forever” is more about life and how we as humans choose to live it. Going into the film, KB was nervous the documentary might come across as preachy or bursting with an agenda. The film does neither of these things, instead choosing to show many different people from numerous walks of life, each sharing their own philosophies on how to get the most out of whatever amount of years they’re given. For some, their secret is exercising every day and avoiding red meat; for others, it’s smoking as much as possible and regularly enjoying a pint. And remarkably, even though each side contradicts the other, the film manages to make both views seem right.

Sparked by the death of his mother, Wexler spent three years traveling the world and interviewing people about their thoughts on achieving two things most humans hope for: to live as long as possible and get the most out of our time here. From senior celebrities (Ray Bradbury and Phyllis Diller) to members of the science community (biogerontologist Aubrey de Grey and “Guru Giggler” Dr. Madan Kataria) to everyday people (the citizens of Okinawa, Japan and “LA Weekly” food critic Jonathan Gold), “How to Live Forever” is filled with many different theories on how to cheat (or at least prolong) death. And of course, the ones filled with booze, sex and laughter come across as the most appealing. The ones filled with daily exercise and puréed vegetable drinks? Not so much.

But that’s exactly what’s great about the documentary, that it doesn’t kowtow to any one view or answer. Like life itself, the philosophy of “whatever works for you is fine by me” is the overall message of “How to Live Forever.” And isn’t that just as it should be? Because, in the end, how each of us inevitably meet our maker is far less important than how we lived our lives up until that one fateful moment.

Learn how to live forever here, then head out to your local theater and learn how others have chosen to do it as well.

I wanna be Buster,


Learn more here and here,


Old Poop!