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…right here:

Thinking up my own version as I type this,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


Oh my God. Are you kidding me? I wish I had a dick right now.”

– Girl, overheard just after she walked into a Porta-John, 5/21/11

I have one and I still don’t like going in there,


One $20 bill. Found Saturday night on Santa Monica Boulevard.

If you are the owner, sorry, we spent it on laundry yesterday.



Check it out here!

You just got crescent rolled,


…right here:

Stick with it,


…earlier today in this post about “Macho Man” Randy Savage’s untimely death, but in October 2003 I had the opportunity to interview Randy.

You can read the full interview here.

I have to be honest and say that, initially, news of Savage’s death didn’t really affect me all that much. But after reading through that interview again today, and after reliving a bunch of my childhood through various old wrestling clips on YouTube, I must admit that Savage’s death kind of bums me out.

I only got to talk to him over the phone for ten or fifteen minutes, but he definitely seemed like a good guy. He was not only nice enough to answer our famous “Do dogs have lips?” question, but also record this short sound byte for our website. Pretty great.

I’m glad that I not only got to see him wrestle live (at Wrestlefest in Milwaukee on July 31st, 1988, where he beat Ted DiBiase to retain the Heavyweight Title) but also talk with him on the phone, albeit it briefly, some fifteen years later.

So rest in peace, Macho Man. Oh, yeah.

Being sincere for once,


…I missed the three-year anniversary of “The Blarg” by two weeks. (I officially started “The Blarg” on May 6th, 2008 with this post.)

Guess I’ll celebrate tonight by drinking an entire bottle of wine. Alone. Again.

I’m gonna make a terrible husband,


dead at 58.

Oh yeah,


…for this article in “OC Weekly.”

M-I-C-K-E-Y A-R-R-E-S-T,


Old Poop!