You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2012.

"The Blarg" hits a half million views!

And it only took four and a half years,



When it comes to newborn baby Jesus… you are not the father,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


“I am super magic.”

– Liam Averhoff, 12/23/12

He most definitely is,


The Mayans were full of shit.

…the Mayans were full of shit.

If you can’t read this… well, if that’s true who gives a shit, right?

I’m at peace either way,



Thanks, Doherty,


Dopey's Santa hat.

…because Dopey’s got his Santa hat on.

He’s wearing a yarmulke underneath it,


Pieces of Craft at Transistor Chicago!

…be sure to check out my good friend Marla Campbell and her craft collective Pieces of Craft at Transistor Chicago.

It’s homemade art… and BYOB! How can you go wrong?

Here’s what you need to know:

What: Pieces of Craft

Where: Transistor, 3819 N. Lincoln Avenue, Chicago

When: 12/15 and 12/16, 1pm-6pm

Q: What do you get when you combine vintage maps, colorful dahlias, illuminated concrete, cans filled with plants, inky characters, and sassy stocking accessories?

A: No, it’s not Charlton Heston’s closet.

Try again. I’m waiting.

What was that? You’re RIGHT! That magical combo yields Pieces of Craft (POC), Chicago’s very own super fantastic craft collective!

On one magical weekend in December you will be able to find the work of this transient group at Transistor, in Chicago’s North Center neighborhood.

The details, you ask? Here they are in no particular order:

Dan marries the wonders of type, geography, ink, and, sometimes, motor oil in his original map pieces. When you enter the room look for the giant beard with two legs sticking out of the bottom. That’ll be Dan.

Mary lovingly sews a variety of colorful felts and vintage buttons to create one-of-a-kind dahlias to accessorize your hair, clothes, and home. By hand, I tell you, by HAND!

Sheila meticulously collects, cleans, paints and repurposes aluminum cans (mostly beer, because POC is classy like that) into decorative homes for indoor plants. She’s also applying her ridiculously controlled line-work to paintings and prints.

Alan helped Sheila collect and empty the aforementioned cans (because he is classy like that). And if that weren’t enough he also constructs lamps out of the sorts of materials usually reserved for building bridges and silos.

Stephanie wants to get her fingerprints all over your gams. Most people have two of them and she’s dedicated to making them look their best with her hand-crafted “gam gild.” (You do know that “gams” is slang for legs, right?)

Marla likes to chat. Park yourself next to her and prepare yourself for an endless supply of stories sans “linear structure” (overrated) about what she heard on NPR that day. Oh, she also makes a mean pen and ink drawing, usually featuring women in outdated clothing.

Stop by Transistor any time between 1:00pm and 6:00pm on Saturday, December 15, and Sunday, December 16. The Pieces of Craft crew will be there to answer questions about their work, partake in adult beverages (that’s right, this event is BYO. You heard me), give you advice about your love life, and provide the best holiday shopping you’ve ever had. E V E R.

Learn more about Pieces of Craft here, and Transistor Chicago here.

Support local art… and by “local art” I mean “Marla,”


Animal - Arm = Def Leppard

Pour some sugar on mahna mahna,


Patrick Aison

…for this “Variety” article.

Soon to become the interviewee,


Christmas Tree 2012!

And so is the penis ornament,


Old Poop!