You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2014.

Father AND author!

…has already reached his Indiegogo goal for his upcoming book on social media analytics, Analytics to Action, but don’t let that stop you from preordering a copy (or checking out the numerous other perks)!

Learn more here.

Our copy’s coming,


Good riddance!

…oh, and FRED PHELPS DIED!!!

Today is most definitely a good day.

See you in Hell, asshole,


Diarrhea... CHACHACHA!

…the primary one being that the anal waxing is called the Chachacha.



PS: Thanks to my good buddy Doherty for sending this along.


She wants us to get fat!

Even the cats like Girl Scout Cookies,


I'm Fabman!

I’m Fabman!

Her patience knows no bounds,


I'm on WHAT?!?

I don’t even register “Diet,”


From 1987 to 1994, I grew up with a kid named Andrew Gorell.

During those seven years, we went to both the same middle school (Jackie Robinson) and high school (Riverside University) in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

As is so often the case, after our high school graduation in June 1994, we lost touch. Andrew went off to study theater, and I moved to Ohio to double major in immaturity and binge drinking.

There was one night (I think it was during Thanksgiving break in 1998, if I remember correctly) when a gang of us old Riverside kids met up at a bar on Milwaukee’s east side for a few drinks, but other than that one extremely brief get-together it had been nearly two decades since I last saw Andrew.

And then last November happened.

A few months earlier, Andrew hit me up on Facebook to let me know that he was going to be in L.A. for two months performing at the Pantages with the touring production of The Lion King. (Andrew performs Zazu.)

During those eight weeks, Andrew and I celebrated both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day together. We also had the opportunity to catch up a couple times over some beers, and he even made it out to a Food Night.

Twenty years later, this happened.

In early January, The Lion King moved on to Honolulu. Andrew moved with it. Still, I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend after all those years.

Let’s not let another two decades pass before we see each other again, Andrew.

He was there when I sliced my knee open at Universal in the seventh grade,


…I was a junior in college and taking a video class with Kon Petrochuk at the Columbus College of Art & Design (CCAD) in Columbus, Ohio.

That year, I created a bunch of different videos for Kon’s class (many of which are now trapped on Hi8 tapes in a Rubbermaid container in my dad’s basement).

Last year, CCAD hosted an alumni get-together here in L.A. and who should show up but Kon Petrochuk! Over a few free beers, Kon mentioned that he remembered a video project I created for his class. In fact, he said that he regularly showed said project to his video class at the start of each school year.

When Kon got back to Ohio he sent me the video on a DVD. Now, nearly seventeen years after I created it, I’m putting it up here on the Blarg.

The video is a pastiche of both shot and found footage. It comes together as an unofficial music video of sorts for Soul Coughing’s song “Screenwriter’s Blues” from their 1994 debut album Ruby Vroom.

A few old CCAD friends make brief appearances including Jamie Bowers (I think those are her hands, if I remember correctly), Marcia Blanchard (she’s the one spinning), Mike Olenick (he’s one of the lovers who murder each other), and Jamie Breitsch (that’s her ear repeated over and over again).

You’ll probably also notice a quick glimpse of Drew Barrymore’s breasts from an old issue of Playboy.

Anyway, on to the video!

You are… listening,



They clearly didn’t run that name past a marketing person,




Mama, I just had the shittiest prom ever.
I need you trying to kill me like I need
a goddamn hole in my head.

I think these are gonna be fun,


Old Poop!