You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2014.

NIN FOREVER... in concrete.

…but high-five to the person who did!

I did do this one though,




Sending out mail soon,


"What is: All the ladies want to sleep with Trebek?"

I know it might seem like I sit at home all day long, drinking whiskey and updating The Blarg, but the truth is I spend much of my day writing.

Lately, most of that writing has been on long-form projects, like screenplays, teleplays, detailed pitches, and (those ever-dreaded) rewrites. The shortest of these projects come in around 30 pages; the longest ones top out around 120.

Because of this, I sometimes take an hour or so to write a short comedic sketch (between one to ten pages) to break up the monotony of those more long-form projects. Over the past couple years I’ve written about a dozen of them; but while they’re fun to write as an exercise, nobody ever really gets to read them.

So to remedy this, I’ve decided to put them out there for everyone to read. I’m doing this for two reasons:

1. I like to share! That, and it’s better than having them sit on my hard drive until I’m dead.

2. It’s my hope that someone out there might be inspired to actually do something with them. Want to film it as a short? Awesome. Interested in animating it? Go for it. Feel like performing it onstage somewhere? I double-dog dare you. All I ask is that you give me credit where it’s due, and (if possible) send me a copy of the final product to check out. I’ll even put it up on The Blarg to share with the four people who visit my site. Hi, Fritz the Nite Owl!

The sixth of Shady’s Shorts is called “Who Are Contestants?”

Download it by clicking below.


Number five,


“Who Are Contestants?” is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Created by Justin Shady, ©2014.
Creative Commons License

Super yummy!

…for this congratulatory cigar!

I smoked it around some werewolves,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


“I’m more attractive; of course I’m going to be the catcher.”

– Dmitriy, 5/23/14

Glad to be an ugly pitcher,


What a...

...frickin' weirdo.



Dominick Abbott

…on this sweet new Facebook page that the Soska Twins set up!

Things are getting weird,


earlier this week.

Uh... what?

Not sure what that has to do with bowling, but if they’re selling tickets to it I’m definitely interested in attending.

The “oil patterns” part makes it even creepier,


WWE Studios!


EXCLUSIVE: WWE Studios and Lionsgate have renewed their partnership with a six-picture deal to produce a new sextet of action pics, starting with VENDETTA from twin sister directing duo Jen and Sylvia Soska (DEAD HOOKER IN A TRUNK).

The Soska Twins previously combined on horror AMERICAN MARY and directed SEE NO EVIL 2 starring WWE’s Kane for WWE Studios and Lionsgate. VENDETTA, written by Justin Shady, tracks a hard-nosed detective who deliberately commits a crime to get sent to prison where he seeks vengeance on the criminal serving a life sentence for murdering the detective’s wife.

VENDETTA will star WWE Superstar Big Show (AKA Paul Wight)…

Read more here!

First, I’m so excited that I finally get to talk about this! This all happened very quickly, but I am so happy to be working with WWE Studios, and can’t wait to see what the super-talented Soska Sisters are going to create!

I’m excited, flattered, humbled, and a little sick to my stomach all at the same time. Might have to have a beer and remedy this odd mix of emotions.

I’ll be sure to keep everyone posted on updates along the way, so stay tuned!

It feels so official now,


…which I had never done before. Obviously.

I’m not a good bowler by any means; every once in awhile I’ll break the 100 mark, but that’s probably as good as I get. But that’s with regular bowling. I thought that with bumper bowling I might be able to close in on the 200 mark!

I was wrong.

We bowled in this order (followed by our ages in parentheses): Audrey (3), Anthony (6), KB (ageless), me (37). Here are our scores:

I'm the worst.

I got my ass stomped by a six-year-old (and KB), and beat a three-year-old by only 11 points. Sigh.

Never was good at sports,


Old Poop!