You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2016.

Another month, another beer(s).

Perfect timing. I needed a drink.

The gift that keeps on giving,

-Shady

It's a McFly and Tiffany visit!

We got a few gems out of it,

-Shady

YES! YES! YES!

Super stocking stuffer,

-Shady

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“Fucking potato-microwaving leprechauns.”

– McFly, 12/8/16

Just like the old days,

-Shady

A lesson well learned.

I know it may seem like I sit at home all day long, drinking beer and updating The Blarg, but the truth is I spend much of my day writing.

Lately, most of my writing has been on long-form projects. Because of this, I sometimes write a short (most times comedic, other times not so much) to break up the monotony of those longer projects. But while these shorts are fun to write as an exercise, nobody ever really gets to read them.

To remedy this, I’ve decided to share them here. I’m doing this for two reasons:

1. I like to share! That, and it’s better than having them sit on my computer.

2. It’s my hope that someone might be inspired to actually do something creative with them. Want to film one as a short? Awesome. Interested in animating one? Go for it. Feel like performing one live onstage? I dare you. All I ask is that you give me credit and send me a copy of the final product.

The thirty-fifth of Shady’s Shorts is called “Learning Curved.”

Download it by clicking below.

DOWNLOAD “LEARNING CURVED”

Number thirty-four,

-Shady

“Learning Curved” is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Created by Justin Shady, ©2016.

The Hit List 2016

Yesterday, The Hit List—an annual ranking of the best spec screenplays of 2016—named my newest script, Saving Charlie Chaplin, as one of the best of 2016. The list is determined by members of the film industry who vote for their favorite script of the past year.

To put it in perspective, 372 scripts were eligible. Of those, 92 made the list. And of those 92 scripts, Saving Charlie Chaplin came in at #14 with 47 votes.

"Saving Charlie Chaplin"

For those of you who aren’t all that familiar with the film industry (or this list), this is a pretty big deal. I’m so honored to be on The Hit List this year, and am super appreciative of everyone who voted for Saving Charlie Chaplin.

Now… let’s sell this thing!

Robert Downey Jr. should reprise the title role,

-Shady

PS: You can view the entire list, and learn more about The Hit List, here.

…for taking us in and showing us a great time during this past weekend’s visit to Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington.

Hanging in Texas with the Carltons!

Catherine, Jeff, Scotty, Jeffrey, and Jenna (not pictured) are the best!

Your turn to visit us,

-Shady

Here’s 2016’s ornament!

Grey's 2016 Krampus ornament from Wenn's Weird Creations.

It was made by Wenn’s Weird Creations out of Millerstown, Pennsylvania. Check out more of their weird creations here.

Last year’s (and Grey’s first) Krampus ornament,

-Shady

Couldn't be a more appropriate time to read this.

A Jim Henson biography is next,

-Shady

Well, well, well....

Eight years to be exact.

For those of you that don’t know who I am, allow me to introduce myself: I am Wayne Chinsang. From time to time, I’ve been known to go by Insane Wayne Chinsang. For many years, I ran a little magazine/website/cult named Tastes Like Chicken. There will be more announcements about Tastes Like Chicken in the near future, but for now I’d like to talk about some more pressing issues.

Earlier today, I received this email from my old boss. Some of you may know him as Shady:

Fuck yeah, I'm down. Especially if I can get on that sweet payroll again.

You see, during the run of Tastes Like Chicken (from 1998 to around, say, 2007 or so), Shady quietly ran shit anonymously behind the scenes while I was the angry (and much prettier) face of the magazine. That isn’t to say Shady and I didn’t see eye-to-eye on most things, but I was always much better at voicing my… let’s just call it dissatisfaction with the world than he was.

And, I mean, let’s be honest here: Shady is a shell of the man he was during his TLC days. He’s now the father of a little girl. He has a tattoo of the Muppets on his arm. And that’s not even to mention his male-pattern baldness, or the fact that he just turned 40.

None of those things describe me. I am the father of exactly zero children (that I know of), the only tattoo I’d ever get would be of the phrase “TATTOOS ARE STUPID,” and I have a luxuriously full head of hair. Oh, and I don’t age. No, seriously, I never age. That’s what happens when you’ve spent the last eight years of your life sleeping in the abandoned ruins of a castle in Romania.

But I digress….

See, the thing is, I was able to take an eight-year break from reality because, as far as I could tell, humanity was mostly back on track. Sure, there was awful shit going on in the world, but we’re never going to be able to fully eradicate all misery. Not as long as contemporary country music exists, at least. Still, humanity was progressing nicely. We all seemed to be getting along together fairly well, or, at the very least, we respectfully accepted our little differences as simply that: little differences.

But then today I get that email from Shady, and after a quick Dogpile search (I told you, I’ve been gone awhile) I find out that 60 million Americans willingly voted a pussy-grabbing fascist into the White House. I’d like to say I’m surprised by this outcome (as Shady obviously was, as illustrated by his sophomoric and minimalist reaction of teen angst), but I’m really not. I mean, we’re talking about a country that elected that Texas hilljack Dubya (AKA George W. Bush for the newbies) into the White House twice. Twice!

All of this is to say that Trump’s ascension to the top of the political shit pile that is the U.S. government is about as surprising as Kanye West’s mental breakdown. (I spent a lot of time on Dogpile today.)

And so, Shady has decided to pass the anger baton on to me for the next four years, and rightly so. Because, when compared to me, Shady just doesn’t possess the appropriate amount of anger needed to adequately tackle this fucked-up turn of events. I, on the other hand, most certainly do.

Need proof? I once started an online petition to God to give Dubya cancer. For real! I really did that! And I don’t regret one goddamn second of it. Know why? Because Bush and his entire crew are still nothing more than petty war criminals. And I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: I will throw a fucking party each and every time a member of that administration leaves this mortal coil. Red Dog and Jack’s Frozen Pizzas on me, y’all!

But until that happens, Donald Trump, I’m turning my attention to you.

So while Shady concentrates on his silly “this is what I’m reading” or “here’s a misspelled sign” or “read this dumb quote one of my friends just said” type of posts here on The Blarg, I’m now in charge of managing the anger around here.

Because let’s be honest, folks… suddenly, there’s a fuckload to be angry about.

Stay tuned, dear reader. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Word,

-Wayne

Old Poop!