No, seriously, did you?

I'm not kidding.

Because whoever sent it to me only signed it with a smiley face.

For reals.

The best part? It came in a “We Care” bag from the USPS, apologizing for the “damage” that happened to the “mail” during the process of shipping and handling. From what I could tell, the potato arrived in tip-top shape.

The USPS feels guilty.

So yeah, if you mailed me a potato… thanks. I think.

I would’ve preferred an avocado,


A Schindler visit!

…all the way from Philadelphia.

That’s what “they” say,


Worked pretty well, actually.

…you have to improvise.

Not as bad as the tongue,


What about squatting? Is that cool?

…or sitting or standing.

That’s the DMV for you,



…for these sheets of awesome birthday stickers.

They include a ton of poop stickers, “PRINCESS JUSTIN IS TURNING FORTY” stickers, “40 AND STILL SMOKIN’ HOT” stickers, “480 MONTHS” stickers, and stickers with three Muppets and Elmo wishing me a happy birthday on it.

Thanks, guys! A lot of these are already stuck to things.

Sticker sucker,


We got some Pearson love!
…and the pint glasses.

Our turn to go to Des Moines,


Grey's first passport stamp.

Itching for international,


…for my birthday all the way from San Francisco.

I sock the line.

The Man in Black... socks.
Yeah, buddy!

But then, the very next day, I got these pairs of socks from my good friends Bryan and Alisha in Columbus.

More socks!

And this pair of socks (which may or may not be knee-highs for a woman) from my good friend Sue in Los Angeles.

And more socks!

I’m sensing both a trend and a conspiracy here.

Still, all of the pairs are much appreciated… and desperately needed.

I can take a hint.

Socks it to me,


Hello, 40.



Bye, 39.

Feels like just last year,