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Worth every dime.

this happened.

Happy anniversary, KB!

She’ll never see this,


…with this dumb post.

What began as a way for me to stay productive after Tastes Like Chicken folded has become an archive of the past decade of my life.

On May 6th, 2008, I was living with my girlfriend and an old college roommate in Milwaukee. As of May 6th, 2018, I am a husband, a father of two, I make my living as a screenwriter, and we’re about to have a different old college roommate move in with us!

Some things never change.

This is The Blarg‘s 3,668th post. Over ten years, 15,667 comments have been posted. Not too bad for something I started on a lark.

Thanks to anyone who has ever supported me and this site with a read or a comment. Hopefully, I can keep the stupidity coming for another ten years.

Starting up eleven,


…I adopted a little four-month-old mutt named Lacy.

Lacy had been adopted by a family one month earlier. An hour before I arrived at the shelter, that family had returned Lacy for “playing too rough” with their child. I translated this into “just being a puppy.”

I had never owned a pet, let alone a dog, so I was admittedly nervous about my decision to take this sweet little girl—a sweet little girl with a ton of energy and a penchant for eating things that weren’t even remotely edible—home with me.

I’m so glad I did, because it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

On the morning of March 18th, 2006, Lacy was returned to a shelter. Later that afternoon, she left it for good with me and a new name: Mr. Fabulous.

The best.

She’s the best, I love her to death, and I can’t imagine life without her.

Happy Anniversary,



…I was fortunate enough to marry this little lady.

Since then, we traveled all over the world, picked up another cat along the way, and became parents. I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Happy anniversary, KB. Love you.


Wills Fargo Motel in Baker, California.

Six years ago today, KB and I woke up at the Wills Fargo Motel in Baker, California (as seen above) and drove the final leg of our cross-country move to L.A. It also just so happened to be the same day as the Obama/McCain election.

Six years later, Obama is still in office and we’re still in L.A.

Six years.


I thought we’d be here for two, tops,


this was happening.


Happy anniversary, KB!

Can’t believe how quickly it’s gone,


KB and I prefer the Mexican wrestling and burlesque of Lucha VaVOOM!

We saw a camera-shy cyclops and his cheetah-skinned girlfriend!

Lucha libre wrestlers don't like having their photos taken! Especially ones with one eye!

And a lot of cleavage!

Boobs, I tell ya!

The girls had a photo op with Dirty Sanchez (AFTER he shit his pants)!

Ladies love Dirty Sanchez!

Ol’ Sanchez and I got close, too!

Dirty Shadchez!

KB flirted with a six-pack…

KB likes six-packs!

…while I found Jesus!

Oh, Jesus!

We saw a guy jump off the balcony and almost die!

Just moments before the silence!

Here’s another angle of that same shot (from LA Weekly)! If you look in the bottom left corner, you’ll see me (in my hat) taking the photo above! Meta!

Right there! In the bottom left! With the hat!

The crowd was pleased!

All in the gang!

Especially the ladies, who got to meet Hispanic Liberace!

The ladies with Hispanic Liberace!

And finally, KB and I ended our second anniversary with a traditional kiss!

The way we kiss!

What a wonderful way to end our second year together. Thanks to Michael and Andrea for an amazing evening… that ended with bacon-wrapped hot dogs.

Be sure to check out LA Weekly’s full slideshow of the evening here.

On to year three,


The madness is about to begin!

And happy anniversary to D.B. Cooper,


…be sure to head on out and help celebrate the ten-year anniversary of The Midnite Show (AKA Cock ‘N’ Toast) with a bunch of my good friends.

Read more about the anniversary event here.

Wishing I was home,


…I missed the three-year anniversary of “The Blarg” by two weeks. (I officially started “The Blarg” on May 6th, 2008 with this post.)

Guess I’ll celebrate tonight by drinking an entire bottle of wine. Alone. Again.

I’m gonna make a terrible husband,


Old Poop!