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Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Don't let the door hit you in the apartment on the way out!

Now living two better,

-Shady

On to the next thing,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss the mystery person who plays piano in the apartment building on the other side of the tree. (Believe me, it’s there.)

I won’t miss the monster child who screams endlessly in the apartment building on the other side of the tree. (Believe me, it’s there.)

It sounds like torture… the screaming, not the music,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss this impulsive little concrete etching I did shortly after we moved in.

I had never actually carved anything into wet concrete before, even as a kid. I must admit, I was torn between “JS+KB” and “FART.”

I won’t miss the mystery (non-Mr. Fabulous) dog shit that magically appears on our lawn every morning.

Pick up after your goddamn dog or I’m gonna take a shit on your lawn,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss Nick’s Coffee Shop on the corner of Pico and La Cienega.

I won’t miss the Jack in the Box across the street.

Nearly 300 items on the menu,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss the upside-down bathroom tiles that remind me of my childhood. Learn more here.

I won’t miss the tiles by the front door that can’t seem to stay clean for longer than one day.

Thinking of stealing that bathroom tile,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss our amazing showerhead’s pressure; it’s strong enough to peel flesh from bone.

I won’t miss our absolutely disgusting carpet.

It was like that when we moved in,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss confusing our mailmen with the names written on our mailbox.

I won’t miss the fact that despite having lived here for nearly three years, the management company never bothered to put our names on the intercom list.

There is no Duncan… only Zuul,

-Shady

When we move out of our apartment at the end of the month, I’ll miss the crazy fucking Ukrainian who lives below us.

I won’t miss the crazy fucking demon bitch who lives behind us.

Expect more soon,

-Shady

Old Poop!