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Still totally feel that way.

…I wrote for the current issue of Chicago (and recently teased here) is finally online, so check it out here.

Better late than never,

-Shady

Now featuring me!

…for the newest issue of Chicago. One is about fighting team mascots, and the other is about spending a date night at Ikea.

The short mascot piece can be read here, but the Ikea article is only in print, so pick up your copy today.

I’m the go-to guy for all things Ikea and mascots,

-Shady

I feel so horribly guilty.

…to read a short sidebar I wrote for them called Bluestown vs. Brewtown.

And yes, I feel horribly guilty about writing this one. But, hey, at least I got to bag on that human turd Sheriff David Clarke.

You can also read it here. It’s at the bottom of the article.

Gonna get some shit from my family for this one,

-Shady

"Chicago" mag featuring both Shadys! Heisenberg digs it!

…to read a short piece I wrote for them called Just Some Casual Suggestions for New Tourist Attractions.

Or you can read it here.

Short and funny is what I excel at… and how I make love,

-Shady

May 2017 issue of

…partly because I wrote two short pieces in it—one on Donald Trump’s Tweets, another on ridiculous job listings—but also because it’s damn pretty.

You can also check them out here and here.

These two articles didn’t generate nearly as much hatred as this one,

-Shady

LIES!!!

Because they use still frames from works of fiction—here, Lost—to promote their clickbait, bullshit articles that are supposedly based in “fact.”

Don’t click on anything with a number in its headline,

-Shady

…for their “Music for Trailers” section.

You can read the first one here and the second one here.

Working hard for the money,

-Shady

Old Poop!