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…and saw this sign taped to a utility pole:

Dog walker and eagle owner, Suzie

You know Suzie’s good with dogs because she also owns a beautiful eagle!

That’s like saying, “I own a boa constrictor… so if you ever need a babysitter, I’m your lady!”

Thanks, Suzie! I couldn’t write this shit!

I wanna be an eagle walker,

– Shady

Old Poop!