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…and both of them work at Mars Wrigley Confectionery. As in the company that makes Snickers, M&M’s, and Dove (among many, many, many other chocolate and candy brands).

Before they moved in, one of our other neighbors would regularly put a bowl of candy out in the lobby for fellow neighbors to enjoy. These candies were bite-sized, like a Hershey’s Kiss or a hard-candy peppermint.

However, since the new couple moved in, this is what our lobby looks like:


I love our new neighbors… and they will be the death of me,


…know that I appreciate both the gift and the joke.

So many dicks...

Unfortunately, I have a strong aversion to gummy candy, which means all of these dicks are probably gonna end up in KB’s mouth. little time.

That’s hot,


No, seriously... THEY! POOP! CANDY!

…for these awesome Monster Poopers!

They poop candy! I repeat: THEY! POOP! CANDY!

About to have a side of monster poop with my vodka,


For Saint Nicholas Day (December 6th) every year, my Grandma Hi-Guy would give each of her grandchildren a plastic candy cane tube filled with M&M’s (or some other similar candy) with a few bucks taped to the side.

Grandma Hi-Guy passed away in 2007, but yesterday I got this.

Grandma Hi-Guy lives!

Beth was standing in this year,


…at a pizzeria last night:

I’m not sure why he has stigmata on one hand, or why the owners of the place decided to shove a sucker in his open wound, but no matter what the reason it’s still pretty awesome.

Do you think Jesus had candy in his wounds?

Jesus is sweet,


My girlfriend Kathy has a tendency to say/do really creepy/funny things while asleep. Here’s one real example:

Saturday, March 13th, 2010 – 2:16 AM

Kathy mumbles something out loud, waking Justin up.

Justin: What’d you say?

Kathy: I gave Mr. Fabulous some candy.

Justin: You did?

Kathy: Candyman! Candyman! Candyman!

Kathy then gives a sinister laugh.

At least she didn’t say it five times,


Old Poop!