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Yet another thing I wish I had thought of.

…recently sent me a link to a Cards Against Humanity call for submissions for potential contributing writers. Applicants were asked to submit fifteen white card ideas and five black card ideas.

Earlier today, I entered. Here are my submissions:

Wish me luck!

I am said horrible person,


The REAL final chapter!

This collection of horrible emails from horrible human beings that Cards Against Humanity published is the real end of their “Ten Days or Whatever of Kwanzaa.”

It made me laugh… and realize that humanity is doomed,


Miracle berries!

…with a few packets of “miracle berries” (Synsepalum dulcificum)…

They rock your taste buds!

…that alter the way your taste buds work, causing sour foods to taste sweet.

My own private island!

Also, I now apparently own a square foot of property on a private island (called Hawaii 2) located in St. George Lake, Maine. If anyone ever wants to stay on my square foot of land just let me know. I’ll email you the exact coordinates.

Thanks again to Erik and Robyn for this awesomely odd gift!

Off to eat some raw lemons,


More! Cards!

It’s winding down,


Day Nine of Cards Against Humanity's "Ten Days or Whatever of Kwanzaa."

Oh, fuck yeah.

Fuck yeah.

The report is super long…

Super long...

…and double sided.

...and double sided.

And it all came in another sweet envelope.

And another sweet envelope.

Putting their money to good use,


Slap .45...

...from Gnarwhal Studios!

…a new card game called Slap .45 from Gnarwhal Studios!

Only a few more to go,


All the poop inside of my body!

Five days left,


Oh, man.

…with this amazing pack of reusable stickers…

More hilarity!

…this short deck of playing cards…

Funny Pages!

…and this newsprint edition of The Funny Pages.

The envelopes they come in are pretty sweet, as well.

Sick Santa!

Dead Santa!

Funeral Santa!

Thanks again to Erik and Robyn for the gift that keeps on giving!

The envelopes are hanging amongst our Christmas cards,


(Justin Shady) Cards Against Humanity!

Thanks to my good friends Erik and Robyn for turning me into a playable part of Cards Against Humanity!

Come play with me, Danny… literally,


Old Poop!