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Throw your hands in the air... for breast self-exams!

I know it might seem like I sit at home all day long, drinking beer and updating The Blarg, but the truth is I spend much of my day writing.

Lately, most of my writing has been on long-form projects. Because of this, I sometimes write a short (most times comedic, other times not so much) to break up the monotony of those longer projects. But while these shorts are fun to write as an exercise, nobody ever really gets to read them.

To remedy this, I’ve decided to share them here. I’m doing this for two reasons:

1. I like to share! That, and it’s better than having them sit on my computer.

2. It’s my hope that someone might be inspired to actually do something creative with them. Want to film one as a short? Awesome. Interested in animating one? Go for it. Feel like performing one live onstage? I dare you. All I ask is that you give me credit where it’s due, and (if possible) send me a copy of the final product.

The twenty-ninth of Shady’s Shorts is called “Mr. Vermis & Mr. Opaca.”

Unlike all of my previous shorts, this short was written for something very specific. A few years ago, I was asked to write a short that would then be performed live during a charity event that was trying to raise awareness for (and money to fight) breast cancer. The event would be a stage performance, and this short—which was written with an old, vaudevillian style in mind—would be broken up into three acts throughout the evening.

As some of you may know, my mother is a breast cancer survivor, so this short took on great meaning when I was cowriting it with my old friend (seriously, like from middle and high school) friend Andrew Gorell.

Unfortunately, the short never got used, so now here it is for you to check out.

Download it by clicking below.


Number twenty-eight,


“Mr. Vermis & Mr. Opaca” is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Created by Justin Shady, ©2016.

Learn all the details (and times) here.

For more information visit Jay and Jack.

For a great cause,


Of course you do.

Well, guess what? MOTHERFUCKERS!

I guess it’s on to my next brilliant idea: A “charity” that collects money for taking in the beloved pets of those who will be saved by the Rapture.


Brilliant equals poor,


A new seven-song EP called “Mount Wittenberg Orca.”

This digital-only release can be yours for a charitable donation (there are four levels: $7, $25, $50 and $100). All proceeds go to the National Geographic Society’s Ocean Initiative.

Get your copy and learn more here.

Music is saving the whales,


I’m just saying.

Half of my fortune is approximately four dollars and eighty-three cents,


Jay and Jack (of “The Lost Podcast with Jay and Jack”) are currently in the middle of hosting a 30-hour podcast. The podcast, which started today at noon (EST) and ends tomorrow at 6:00 PM (EST), is being held to raise money for Autism Speaks. Their goal is $30,000.

Bethany was on for an hour earlier today (sorry, you missed her) and Damon Lindelof was just on (sorry again), but Ralph Apel of Dharmalars fame will be on tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM (EST), and Jorge will be on for the last hour and a half of the podcast (4:30 to 6:00 PM EST).

Click here to check out the podcast through a live video feed, here to donate directly to Autism Speaks, and here to check out an eBay auction that is also being held to raise money. There are a bunch of autographed “Lost” items up for sale, so check ’em out!

For a good cause,


…a new song!

“Chase the Tear” (as in what you do to a piece of paper, not the liquid that comes out of your eyes) is a new single from the trio. The track was created for Amnesty International, and is available for download at a cost of .99 cents. All proceeds go toward Amnesty International’s human rights work.

Check out the video below, and click here to buy a copy of the MP3.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Sweet charity,


Old Poop!