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The shorter one also waited around in the bathroom while his friend finished taking a shit. Because, you know... THAT'S not creepy.

Here are three easy steps to do just that:

1. Own a Star Wars character backpack.

2. Own a Darth Vader helmet with Mickey Mouse ears.

3. Walk around Epcot all day long wearing the above two items with your buddy who also is walking around Epcot wearing the very same thing.

The force is… something or other with these two,


Chewbacca's girlfriend is one lucky Wookie.

I knew he was packing,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


“You know what I want you to work on next, Shady? A Chewbacca biopic.”

– Georg (AKA Pudds), 2/8/13

Christ, I’ve missed that man,


…in this article I wrote for “OC Weekly.”

Totally unrealistic,


Old Poop!