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…including this Sesame Street cup from my buddy Salomon…

Sweet gifts!

…this treasure trove of children’s books from Jenna, Kaya, the Cigelskes, the Loars, the Ollenburgs, and Ma Shady…

Sweet gifts!

…and this classic from my Uncle Bob.

Sweet gifts!

What’s that? Those are all for Grey?

Well, hell. Can I at least keep the Man Crate I got from Beth that was filled with sausages, pretzels, mustard…

Sweet gifts!

…and this sweet stein with my name etched into it?

Sweet gifts!

As well as this ceramic gun vase I got from Metcalf…

Sweet gifts!

…and this amazing set of skull plates I got from Du?

Sweet gifts!

Those are all for Grey, too?!?

Man… kids get all the good shit for Christmas.

Santa disappoints,


So I have two new children’s books coming out this August. I’m going to wait on talking about the second one until the work on it has wrapped, but the first one is a book called “The Lava is a Floor!”

I wrote the book with my longtime friend (and old college roommate) Jeremy R. Scott (also known in larger circles as “Jocco”), and once again it was an honor and a privilege to be able to work with someone I’ve known for so long.

“The Lava is a Floor!” is the tale of a brother and sister duo of monsters named Blarg and Clarg who live in the crater of a volcano. One day, they find themselves bored as can be and decide to use their imaginations and pretend to become the weirdest creatures they know: humans.

Jeremy did a great (and exceptionally fast) job at bringing Blarg and Clarg to life, and I wanted to share the first five pages of the book with you here:

"The Lava is a Floor!" page one

"The Lava is a Floor!" page two

"The Lava is a Floor!" page three

"The Lava is a Floor!" page four

"The Lava is a Floor!" page five

Published by Silverline Books under the umbrella of Image/Shadowline Comics, “The Lava is a Floor!” will be available in specialty shops and comic stores this August, and all other bookstores across the country this November, just in time for the Holidays!

So keep an eye out here for more “Lava” updates and shenanigans, and stay tuned for the announcement of my other children’s book.

I can’t believe they let me write kids’ books,


Old Poop!