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…while riding passenger in my dad’s car, he yelled at me for popping in Nine Inch Nails’ The Downward Spiral. More specifically, he yelled at me for playing the single off that album, “Closer”, which I’m sure you’re all familiar with.

“I wanna fuck you like an animal?” he asked, mouth agape. “What the hell are you listening to?”

A teenaged me replied with something along the lines of, “You don’t get it, Dad. This song is just one part of a story.” (In my defense, at the time, concept albums were a new, well, concept to me.)

My dad quickly ejected the CD and handed it back to me.

Fast-forward two and a half decades later, and a now 42-year-old me (an age, I’d like to point out, that is older than the age my dad was at the time of the car incident) is taking my 65-year-old dad to his first Nine Inch Nails concert.

He met Trent!

Dad and Trent!

We drank beers… that cost $32! Before tip!

Extortion!

I bought this show print, which was cheaper than two beers!

Worth it!

And our minds were blown by an amazing performance by Trent and company.

NIN!

They even played my dad’s favorite song… which has grown on him over time.

He gets it now,

-Shady

…last weekend for a Christmas cookie bakeoff!

The Christmas cookie baking crew!

We also failed miserably at getting out of a zombie escape room.

Zombie escape room fail!

We still have two rounds of visitors before 2017 hits,

-Shady

To, duh, my father!

This is probably considered racist now.

My dad was almost always behind the camera, so I don’t have a whole lot of photos of us together in the early years. And by “early years” I mean “the 1970s.”

From what I can tell this is our first photo together.

First photo!

It was also shared by my mom and my godparents: Ed, Nancy, and Robin.

Here’s a photo of us when my dad was rocking a sweet mustache.

Sweet 'stache!

And us at the Milwaukee County Zoo. Yes, I was a sailor.

Zoo!

And finally, a photo of us on my two-year birthday, accompanied by an awesome Herry Monster birthday cake!

Birfday cake! With Herry Monster!

Love you, Dad!

I learned it by watching him,

-Shady

…because, you know, what kid didn’t?

Beth and I would throw them out the windows of our dad’s red Ford Escort—on the sly, of course (or so we thought)—whenever he’d pass by someone walking down the street.

At first, it made him nuts. He’d yell, “Don’t do that! You’re gonna get in trouble!” But one day, for some unknown reason, his opinion of our admittedly childish antics made an abrupt and unexpected 180-degree turn.

We were driving east on Morgan Avenue in Milwaukee and, as we approached the top of a small hill, he turned to Beth and I in the backseat and said, “There are two kids riding bikes coming up. Get ’em.”

Beth and I looked at each other and smiled. He didn’t have to tell us twice. We each chucked a bang snap out the window as we passed. As we drove on we heard one of the kids yell to the other kid, “Hold up! I think I just popped a tire!”

Success.

A couple weeks ago, Beth and my dad spent a night at our place. They were headed to London together the next day, and before their trip they decided to stop at a CVS and stock up on snacks for their long flight.

When my dad walked out of the store he handed me this:

BANG!

SNAP!

I’ll be driving with my windows down this summer, that’s for sure.

39 going on 9,

-Shady

Here we are in October 1976. I’m one month old.

Ron & Justin: October 1976

And here we are in April 1977. I’m around seven months old.

Ron & Justin: April 1977

I had more hair back then,

-Shady

Thanks, Dad!

Check your butthole… check it often,

-Shady

I know everyone’s been all like, “Oh, my dad is the best,” and, “No, my dad is the best,” today, and I’m all like, “HORSE SHIT! Because my dad is the best!”

I tried to find this awesome photo of us wearing 3D glasses while watching Creature from the Black Lagoon together, but it’s buried somewhere in nearly a hundred photo albums, and so you’ll just have to settle for this.

October 24th, 1976

That photo was taken at my christening (yes, I was once a good little Christian boy) on October 24th, 1976, and from what I can tell it’s the first photo of us together (at least based on the photos I have).

This is a good one, too.

Easter (April 19th) 1981

That photo was taken on Easter in 1981, which just so happened to fall on April 19th that year. It was also my dad’s 28th birthday.

Those horns in the background are currently hanging in our dining room.

Anyway, Happy Father’s Day to the best dad a balding, 30-something man who swears like a sailor and acts like an 8-year-old could ever have!

I learned it by watching him,

-Shady

Ron Shady... one year and one month before he became a father.

I know this because he wrote it down on the back of the photo.

See?

More than 30 years after this photo was taken, I came across it in an old family photo album and, for a brief second, seriously thought it was a photo of me.

You might be able to see it yourself, especially if you cover up his beard.

I guess he is my dad,

-Shady

…doesn’t look too different from the site’s top five commenters in 2012.

Top five commenters on "The Blarg" in 2013.

My mom still holds the crown for top commenter with an even 200 comments (nearly doubling last year’s total), but my good friend Brandon Doherty moved up a notch, stealing the #2 position from my Uncle Bob. Both Paul Spooner and Jocco slipped out of the top five, only to be replaced by Kate C. and my dad.

Now, let’s see which of you really love me in 2014.

And… they’re off,

-Shady

Go put 'em back.

Payback’s a bitch,

-Shady

Old Poop!