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It was a constant reminder of the situation we were in. And, I guess technically, one we’re still in for another 34 days, but you get the point.

Out with the old... asshole.

But last night, I decided it was time for a change.

Let the sunshine in!

He’s been erased from my computer. And hopefully, over time, from history.

I feel better now,


…on the eve of the 2016 election, I wrote this.

I took some heat for it. Some said it was too angry. And, admittedly, it was.

But you know what? Since I wrote that I’ve grown even more angry. So much, in fact, that I’m having a hard time accurately expressing the amount of pure, unadulterated hatred I have for Trump, his supporters, and the state of our embarrassing (and, in my opinion, dying) republic.

And so today, not only do I stand by every word I typed four years ago, but I’ll double down on them by adding just one sentence: Vote for Biden and Harris, or go fucking fuck yourself, motherfucker.

It’s not eloquent, I know, but at least it’s honest.

I do not suffer fools gladly,


Yep, I signed back up.

Such a glutton for punishment.

This is fun but I can’t wait until it’s over,


…partly because I’ve been reserving tickets to his rallies (which I have no intention of ever attending… and I highly encourage you to do the same), but also because I’ve been using these texts as a sort of therapy to express what I’m really feeling toward him and his garbage family.

Of course, their texts are automated, but my replies still give me a smile. And honestly, we need as many smiles as we can get these days.

So here I share with you a recent back-and-forth correspondence I had with the Trump campaign. And by “back-and-forth correspondence” I mean “a text conversation between me and a racist robot.”

Fuck this guy and his whole crew.

I’m definitely on a list somewhere,


Terrible move.

So I fixed it.


Don’t listen to Trump if you want to live,


Bigfoot is MORE qualified.

Wouldn’t be a stretch with this administration,


For once, I agree with Dubya.

Never thought it could get worse than him,


Edel Rodriguez's "Fire and Fury" cover that should've been.

…Tori Telfer’s Lady Killers (but not before dropping it into a bathtub full of water), so I figured I’d start off 2018 with, duh, Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.

I know there is speculation over the book’s complete accuracy, but here’s how I look at it: If even only 10% of what’s inside is true, it’s still shocking. And appalling. And gross.

The actual cover design of the book is shit, so instead I decided to post Cuban-born artist Edel Rodriguez’s take on what he would’ve done with the cover. Edel is responsible for many of TIME‘s recent Trump covers. Check out his work¬†here, and then learn more about his cover illustrations¬†here.

I enjoy a good mix of both fact and fiction,


"Bigly" by Justin Shady.

I write at least one spec feature script for myself every year. In 2016, I wrote Saving Charlie Chaplin, which obviously got some love and attention.

Unfortunately, I finished 2017’s script far too late in the year for it to get any real traction or make any lists. But that doesn’t mean I’m not proud of it.

I released my ninth spec on November 8th, 2017, one year to the day that Donald Trump shockingly (and appallingly) won the presidency. That date was consciously chosen because the script, titled Bigly, is a humorous account of Trump’s inauguration. Or at least how I had hoped his inauguration had turned out.

For the holidays, I thought it might be fun to share my script. Consider it a present from me to you. Of course, feel free to share it with friends and family. Especially friends and family who voted for Trump. It will be a fun conversation starter around the dinner table this coming weekend.

Download your copy of Bigly here.

Now on to number ten… and eleven,


Now and always... go fuck yourself.

Making America Deplorable Again,


Old Poop!