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…first gets fucked by Chinese art thief Cai Jiang Xun, then by the copyright infringement-friendly eBay.

Learn more about the thievery here, and check out Paul’s art here.

Cai Jiang Xun is an imposturd,


I woke up to three anti-Pat Robertson emails this morning! What a great way to start off the week!

First, my friend Carrie sent me this link to a Pat Robertson voodoo doll that’s up for bid on eBay!

All proceeds go to the American Red Cross for use in rescue efforts in Haiti.

That email was followed by an email from my friend Jamie. The email had no text, just the following image attached:

And lastly, my friend Cesar passed along the following information to me:

Call Pat Robertson’s “700 Club” at (800) 759-0700 to give your opinion of his comments about Haiti. It costs them about $1 to pick up each 800 call. Cut and paste everywhere, a million calls costs them a million dollars, send it in a message to all your Facebook friends.

Thanks guys! Keep spreading the anti-Pat Robertson message!

Nail Robertson to a cross,


…these figures to be exact:

George Lucas smells like onions!

George Lucas smells like onions!

And here is my description for the auction:

This set of six intergalactic pieces of plastic include:

– Red Phallic Head Man
– Buttface
– Greedo
– Brown Turd-Shaped Head Monster
– Creature Wearing Turquoise w/ Two Penises Coming Out Of His Head
– Grover

Figures don’t have any of their accessories because I probably ate them when I was a little kid. Also, I’m sure they contain my DNA because I spent a lot of time biting and sucking on them as a little brat.

This will work to your advantage because, just like that mosquito trapped in amber, these toys could be the key to one day opening a tourist location on a remote island where you have nothing but clones of me running around.

You should see how quickly I can eat an entire goat!

Bidding on my childhood dreams (which are now crushed) begins at .99 cents. Buyer agrees to pay additional $6.00 for Priority Shipping. Additional services available if Buyer inquires first and agrees to pay for any and all additional services. Will ship my childhood internationally as long as Buyer agrees to pay for any and all shipping costs. I figure it’s appropriate seeing as how most of my dreams were made in China. Buyer should inquire first about shipping costs to their specific country before bidding.

I accept PayPal, money orders and checks. Checks must be cleared (approximately ten days) before item ships.

If you’re interested in bidding, hop on over to eBay and do a search for “Buttface.” I’m sure it will come up.


Old Poop!