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…(previously known as KB’s coworker at The Hollywood Reporter) moved to New York City last month to work at Billboard Magazine.

Before she moved east, a few of her coworkers put together a special issue for Emily… who also happens to be the world’s biggest Nicolas Cage fan.

KB asked if I wanted to write anything for Emily’s going-away issue. I said absolutely… but only if I could write it as Nic Cage.

Enjoy! (Click on the image below for a larger image.)

This thing seriously wrote itself.

Emily loved it, but not as much as what I arranged to get her last week.


I’m the fulfiller of Nicolas Cage dreams,



…for these sweet-ass Sconnie sunglasses!

Wisconsin proud,


Old Poop!