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D.J. Kirkbride's "The Amelia Cole Omnibus" is out now!

…released The Amelia Cole Omnibus last month through IDW Publishing.

It’s huge! Literally! It’s, like, 500 pages! Bigger than a bible! And in full color!

Get! Your! Copy! Now!


Also, my other good friend Frank Cvetkovic did lettering, so that’s awesome, too.

Get on it,


IDW's "The Bigger Bang" by D.J. Kirkbride!

…from IDW today!

Learn more about The Bigger Bang here.

Got my signed copy yesterday,


PS: Forgot to mention that my other good friend Frank Cvetkovic did the lettering on the book, as well! So now you have two reasons to pick it up!

"Mute" written by Frank Cvetkovic.

…turn his new comic, Mute, into a printed reality!

Mute is a 48-page modern noir comic written by Frank, drawn by Michael Harris, and edited by Adam P. Knave. It tells the story of Adrian Kim, a deaf steel mill worker who finds himself on the run from a killer.

Ready for the hook? Because Adrian is deaf, the book is void of any spoken dialogue or sound effects. Pretty sweet idea. Wish I had thought of it. Maybe I’ll steal it… and add serial killers.

Anyway, learn more about how you can get involved here.

Patience is a virtue, Frank,


…is releasing his new comic “Punch-Up” one page at a time online… and it’s free! (I originally posted this about “Punch-Up” back in November 2009.)

I could go on and on about Frank’s talent as a writer, or artist David Brame’s skills as an illustrator, but instead I’ll let their collective words and imagery do the talking for me. Here’s page six from “Punch-Up”:

Check out the entire story (updated three times a week) here.

Publishers should take note,


…and thanks to my good friend Frank Cvetkovic for bringing it to my attention.

Just beacuase,


I know people have been waiting in breathless anticipation for this post, so let’s get right to it!

Here are all of the entries (listed in no particular order) for “The M. Night Shyamalan Poetry Contest!”

I’m going to post all of the entries first, and announce the winner of the contest at the end. Some people entered numerous times, so you’ll see a few names popping up two or three times.

Untitled Haiku
By Ralph Apel

M. Night Shyamalan
Name’s too long for this haiku
“The Village” was shit

Untitled Poem
By Ralph Apel

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Fuck off, M. Night
Your worthlessness doesn’t deserve the time it took me to write this poem about you.
I did like “Unbreakable,” however.

Untitled Haiku #1
By Frank Cvetkovic

Marky Mark leads his
Funky Bunch across the state.
Trees try to kill us.

Untitled Haiku #2
Frank Cvetkovic

Bruce Willis is dead.
There! Now you don’t have to spend
Five bucks to rent it.

Untitled Haiku #3
Frank Cvetkovic

I don’t think I’ll go
See “Lady in the Water.”
What else is playing?

Untitled Poem
By Mandy Tuthill

Shyamalan, a Ding Dong

If only horror writers
Could capture in words
The dread of a nation
Anti-anticipating your next release.

I see dead careers.
Why isn’t yours one of them yet?




Untitled Poem
By James Decker

I kinda like “Signs”
the one where faithless Mel whines
I liked the ones with Bruce
but your others smell of deuce
Especially “Lady in the Water”
the one with Ron Howard’s daughter

i am the sign of the times
By Susanne Iles

i am so pretty am i
wanted to be an actor i am
in my own films the lead am i
a one-trick pony not me i am

an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a story that repeats
‘til the twist (which repeats) film after film after i
am an echo of other’s writings not plagerist not i
am my own happening

Untitled Poem
By Lisa

Regurgitated bile is vile
M. Night movies are worse
My life hours repeatedly stolen
And now the minute spent on this verse
I am ashamed

Untitled Poem
By Voltaire

This is in defense of Shyamalan,
Please do your best to follow along,
You may think I’m a sap,
And that his work is all crap,
But I’ll explain why you’re so wrong.

“The Sixth Sense” helped Night burst on the scene,
It was unlike anything we’d seen,
But in every movie since,
We’ve expected the twist,
And it’s made his reviewers obscene.

I won’t say Shyamalan is always great,
“The Happening” makes that an impossible position to take,
But just ‘cuz he’s made some crap,
Doesn’t mean he’s all bad,
So I think everyone should give him a break.

And the winner is… Voltaire!

Why? Well, for two reasons. One, Voltaire is one of the few people who entered who I don’t personally know! And two, because they’re honestly a fan of Shyamalan’s work and will appreciate the copy of “Signs.”

I think the rest of us would have probably used it for a coaster. Or worse. Heh.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and be sure to keep an eye out on “The Blarg” for more contests!

Ain’t no Robert Frost,


My good friend Frank Cvetkovic (who also has been known as Boom Boom Storm Cloud from time to time) just got ashcan previews of his upcoming graphic novel “Punch-Up” printed, and he sent me a freebie to check out.

Written by Frank and illustrated by David Brame, “Punch-Up” offers both a unique storyline and fantastic artwork. I don’t want to give too much away, but the short of the story is this: Patrick is a recently dumped, recently fired twenty-something who pays his bills by letting people beat the shit out of him.

There’s more to it than that, but you’ve gotta admit that it already sounds pretty goddamn intriguing.

Here’s the cover of the new forty-page ashcan, which I’m sure you could finagle a copy of if you threw a few bucks at Frank.

"Punch-Up" ashcan

In the meantime, check out this eight-page preview over on his site.

Frank’s gonna be shopping this around to publishers in the near future, looking to get it picked up as a original graphic novel. If the rest of the story is anything like the ashcan, he shouldn’t have any problem.

Mike Tyson ain’t got shit on this,


From fucked-up news stories to funny YouTube clips, a lot of you guys have passed me some good links over the past few weeks.

But rather than commit a new “Blarg” post for each one, I’ve decided to just make one big post here of everything. A “Blarg” potpourri, if you will.

First, here’s a trailer for Roland Emmerich’s “2012”. I can just see the pitch meeting for this:

Columbia Pictures: So, what’s your one-sentence pitch?

Roland: Everyone dies!

Columbia Pictures: Who’s in it?

Roland: John Cusack!

Columbia Pictures: Push this into production yesterday, motherfucker!

Oh, man…. That’s gonna be a laugh riot.

Next up, a great commercial for Luvs Diapers. I’m not kidding.

Here’s a great story from a few months ago about Woody Harrelson, a photographer, and a… zombie?

And lastly, here are a few good overdubs for a couple of infomercials we’re all too familiar with:

And I’ll leave you with this:

Thanks to Frank, Pauly and Marla for sending these along.




…decided to spread the word about my books here and here, so I’ve decided to repay the favor by spreading the word about his blog.

Thanks, Boom Boom!


Old Poop!