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Can't tell if this is a religious thing or a gay thing.

Only because I feed her,


…because he’s coming back, and he’s bringing God and bigotry with him.

Please don’t vote this asshat in,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


Oh my God. Are you kidding me? I wish I had a dick right now.”

– Girl, overheard just after she walked into a Porta-John, 5/21/11

I have one and I still don’t like going in there,


Please let a gas leak explode inside the offices of TMZ and take everyone inside to their miserable graves.

Fucking dirt merchants.

Harvey Levin is the modern day equivalent of a war criminal,


…this would have been my statement to the world:

“Fuck all of you vultures. I owe you nothing. So what? I slept with some chicks. I’m more famous than God and have more money than Jesus; this is what people like me do. Deal with it. Get a fucking life, leave me the fuck alone, and go fuck yourself. Amen… to me.”

Sadly, he vag’d out and begged for forgiveness. Yawn.

More pussy than tiger,


…stuck to our front gate today:

Roofing… with a biblical integrity.

Thank Christ, because I want to make sure that my roof is up to God’s standards.

Still laughing at “Shingles” on the card,


…please, oh please, let James von Brunn live!

Why? Because do you know what they do to 88-year-old white supremacists in prison?

They got a nickname for ’em: Gums.

May you live to be the oldest man alive, James! And may you spend every last second of your small and pitiful life in absolute pain and complete misery.

I deny that you ever existed,


Old Poop!