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…next to a dumpster of a now abandoned school building behind our place.

From what I can tell, the album documents a 1995 school trip for a class of Chicago high school students who visited a farm and campground in Wisconsin.

Most of the photos are boring (a lot of kids standing around trying to look too cool for school), but a handful of them are amazing. I’ve decided to post these gems one at a time and caption them along the way.

Here’s the first one:

Denise and Brad have now been unhappily married for 19 years.

“Don’t take my picture, Brad!” slurred Denise, who was joyously drunk on a near-lethal mix of Jolt Cola, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Bubble Tape. But as she coyly turned away from him, Denise softly whispered to herself, “Take my picture, Bradley. Take it, process it, print it… and then fall in love with me forever.”

Six more to come,


If you know me (or have ever known me, to be honest), you know that I have a long list of insane stories from my past that I tell regularly at parties and get-togethers.

(If you don’t know me, you know now because I just told you.)

More often than not, these stories are told through a haze of alcohol, my arms flailing wildly around the room as I spout off about something or other. Some of these stories involve my childhood. Others are rooted in my high school and college years. And almost all of them teeter that fine line between “Ridiculous” and “Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Here Unbelievable.”

For years now, my friends and family have been telling me to write these stories down. And, for just as many years, I’ve put it off. Until now.

Starting in the next few days, I will begin featuring a set of short stories called “Stories To Tell Before I Forget.” These tales are, well… exactly that: True tales from the Shady canon that will now forever be immortalized here on “The Blarg.”

Let me warn you ahead of time: You will not believe all of these stories, and I won’t blame you one bit for doubting their validity. But if my word means anything to you, dear reader, please believe this: Each and every one of these stories are 100% accurate and true.

Or at least as true as I remember them to be.

So keep an eye out for these stories in the coming days. Each story title will be prefaced with “Stories To Tell Before I Forget,” so you’ll know one when you see one.

It’s a good time to get these out. I hope you’ll enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy telling them.



Learn why here.

And then watch this preview for her documentary:

Waiting to be Mr. Andrea Wachner,


Old Poop!