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“The Blarg” as seen on a Kindle, as seen on an iPhone, as seen on the web browser of a PlayStation 3, as seen on a 46-inch HDTV, as seen in Google Reader in Safari 4 on a Macbook, as seen on the Mini Opera browser of an HTC Nova, as seen on an iPad, as seen on a computer monitor in the United Kingdom, as seen on a Kindle Fire, as seen on a MacBook, as seen through Google Glass!

“The Blarg” as seen on a Kindle, as seen on an iPhone, as seen on the web browser of a PlayStation 3, as seen on a 46-inch HDTV, as seen in Google Reader in Safari 4 on a Macbook, as seen on the Mini Opera browser of an HTC Nova, as seen on an iPad, as seen on a computer monitor in the United Kingdom, as seen on a Kindle Fire, as seen on a MacBook, as seen through Google Glass!

After more than two years, it returns!

To fully understand this post, go here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And finally, here.

Dave Lee for the resurrection,

-Shady

Sigh… again: To fully understand this post, go here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And finally, here.

Please stop,

-Shady

To understand this post fully, go here. Then here. And here. And here. And here. And here. And finally, here.

It continues,

-Shady

…that transcribes her voicemails and then sends them to her in an email.

This past weekend, she got this transcribed voicemail emailed to her:

I guess soon. Can you call me back. I just wanna make sure that I got, saw total number of addresses and then again I’m I send you all the address. Been a busy got wall, but I think you sent me that address. And that’d be fine. Hey somebody by the name of phone so I can get one yeah Myer long. I think I even one more. So I just wanna double talking debit card, alright. Thank you will type stuff injury now and then I wanted to know if is, but that L also stuff in the form or Nazi patch you through it but I know it’s Anna, and you know. So, alright call. Thank you.

I guess an illiterate psychopath called her,

-Shady

With Christmas just around the corner I’ve been bit by the bug of giving! And what better way to give things away than by holding a contest? But this isn’t just any contest, folks. This is the Worst Contest Ever! Literally.

Need proof? Look at these awesome prizes!

Prize packet includes:

– An autographed empty water bottle from the set of “Two and a Half Men.” (Note: Bottle contains one real autograph from Justin Shady and three fake autographs from the cast of “Two and a Half Men.”

– A water-damaged advance copy of People of Walmart: Shop & Awe.

– An old iPhone case!

– A burned CD of Daniel Tosh’s “True Stories I Made Up.” (Note: Tracks were accidentally burned out of order.)

– A pipe for smoking weed! (Or whatever!)

See? I told you it was the worst contest ever. I might even throw in some other garbage before the contest ends.

Wanna enter? Email me here with your name, age, address, and a brief description of the worst Christmas gift you ever received. (Bonus points if you can dig up a photo of you with the horrible item.)

Contest ends on Wednesday, December 22nd.

Good luck on being the “winner” of this horrible, terrible, awful contest!

I may even throw in a drawing,

-Shady

…has an app on her iPhone that gives people a “fat makeover.” I’m not kidding. It’s called FatBooth.

With FatBooth, you shoot a photo of a person’s face and it instantly packs on the pounds. Of course, KB and I had to try it out:

Wow. That’s really a terrible idea.

We look like the Nutty Professor,

-Shady

To bring you up to speed, this all began over a year ago right here. Then it went here. Then here. And here. And here. And earlier today it went here thanks to my good friend Ralphus.

The photo above was sent to me by “Blarg” super-fan Paul Spooner over in the United Kingdom.

And so, it continues.

Dreading the next attachment,

-Shady

Blast from the past,

-Shady

So just in case you haven’t heard, the Nintendo Wii is now compatible with Netflix. A few days ago we were informed that our Netflix disc for the Wii was in the mail. Today, it came.

It’s. Fucking. Awesome.

I know the Xbox 360 has the same capabilities, but I’ve never even touched an Xbox so I had no clue what instant streaming movies was like. It’s fantastic! Within twelve seconds I was enjoying “A Nightmare on Elm Street” on our not-flat-screen television! Amazing!

I swear, I’ve seen a lot of technology get introduced over the past 33 years but very little of it has impressed me like this. Sure, the iPhone. And the Swiffer. But other than those two things, this might be the best goddamn invention since the Greek orgy.

The future truly is here, folks; and it brought Robert Englund with it.

Better than traveling in tubes,

-Shady

“The Blarg” as seen on a Kindle, as seen on an iPhone, as seen on the web browser of a PlayStation 3, as seen on a 46-inch HDTV, as seen in Google Reader in Safari 4 on a Macbook, as seen on the Mini Opera browser of an HTC Nova!

And this one comes from the other side of the pond!

Thanks for sending it in, mystery European person!

Keeping on, going strong,

-Shady

Old Poop!