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Wedding #1 was a success!

I mean, I married them to each other. I didn’t personally marry them.

Anyway, I can marry people now, so bring it!

I can also officiate funerals,


So sweet!

…her good friends Du and Jade for the “get well soon” flowers!

She would give you guys kisses… if her cone weren’t in the way,


Joe from Du and Jade!

…for this bag of Joe Coffee!

Already cracked it open,


Du and Jade visit Los Angeles!

…including an awesome Thanksgiving Day.

Thanks for visiting, guys!

Next up: Mark and Julius,


No, seriously... THEY! POOP! CANDY!

…for these awesome Monster Poopers!

They poop candy! I repeat: THEY! POOP! CANDY!

About to have a side of monster poop with my vodka,


Open beer...

…for this sweet little surprise that came in the mail today!

Not only does it open a beer, but it also comes with a little reminder of home.

...with a little love from home.

Thanks, Du and Jade! Youse guys are the best!

Already used it three times today,


…sent me this sweet skull candle holder and potato scrubber guy!

Thanks, guys! You’re the best!

Thanks, Du and Jade!

Now I can scrub potatoes and worship Satan at the same time,


Old Poop!