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To the anonymous person who sent me a bag of (gummy) dicks…

…know that I appreciate both the gift and the joke.

So many dicks...

Unfortunately, I have a strong aversion to gummy candy, which means all of these dicks are probably gonna end up in KB’s mouth.

...so little time.

That’s hot,

40 for 40.

…as a joke.

But, yep, I drank it. Goddamn right I did.

Thanks for the joke, Beth!

Hoping they make 41 ounces by next September,

…this post: This morning, at 6:57 AM, Kathy’s sister called to see if she was pregnant.

The joke is now officially on me.

Please remember that California is two hours behind Illinois,