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Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“Great job, Daddy!”

– Grey, after noticing Justin had just taken a poop in the toilet, 3/27/18

Little does she know I’m a professional,

-Shady

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…this is what the front of it looked like:

The 2016 Shady holiday card! Front-style!
And this is what the back of it looked like:

The 2016 Shady holiday card! Back-style!

Grey was rocking her inner John McClane (and male-pattern baldness)…

Grey McClane!

…while KB fell from Nakatomi Plaza in her Rickman haircut.

Hans GruKBer!

I did my best corpse-in-an-elevator impersonation…

Ho... ho... HO-MY GOD!

…while Beth portrayed a blonde, ballerina-dancing Russian, and Meatshake and Heisenberg served as her feline background muscle.

Beth's cat backup!

On the back, Mr. Fabulous became a giant stuffed bear, and Pip peeked over the backseat while Argyle talked on his huge cellphone.

The 2016 Shady Christmas Card! Back-style!

Obviously, this one took a lot more work than last year’s Krampus card.

We already have our Easter card done,

-Shady

Siblings: Start.

34 years later,

-Shady

Wait a second, wait a second, it's coming to me... nope.

I sure don’t, Lille. I sure don’t.

I got Sloth eyes in that photo,

-Shady

…for picking up these personalized pickle ornaments while she was in Hilton Head, South Carolina a few weeks ago.

She got me a “Justin” pickle…

Personalized Justin Pickle!

…but apparently, “Katherine” is too weird a name to put on a pickle, so Marla picked up this “Special Friend” one for KB.

Personalized Special Friend Pickle!

KB is legally changing her name to Special Friend,

-Shady

…I was four years old. My Uncle John was twelve.

That same month, my parents took the both of us to Disney World. It was my first time at a Disney park, and John’s second time.

Yesterday, John and I visited a Disney park together for the first time in 32 years. This time it wasn’t Disney World (not much is), but Disneyland. Regardless, we revisited some old memories.

In 1981, my dad took a photo of us together on Main Street.

John & Justin: Disney World, May 1981

Yesterday, our friend took a photo of us together on Main Street.

John & Justin: Disneyland, July 2013

In 1981, my mom bought us ice cream bars in Tomorrowland.

John & Justin: Disney World, May 1981

Yesterday, I bought us ice cream bars in Tomorrowland.

John & Justin: Disneyland, July 2013

John still carries a purse,

-Shady

boots. Now they’re using my name to sell nut butter?!?

I’m contacting my lawyers!

But nutter,

-Shady

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