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We’ve been a one-pet home ever since Mr. Fabulous died in December, and Heisenberg has loved every single second of it. But since she’s a bit of a shit we decided to add not one, but two new pets to the Shady family!

Please meet our two new kittens, Bad Guy (who, of course, is a girl)…

Bad Guy!

…and Robot!

Robot!

Some backstory on their names: KB and I chose them as a nod to Grey and West’s favorite music video: “Intergalactic” by Beastie Boys.

The video is an homage to Japanese Kaiju films, and in it a robot battles an octopus-headed creature.

Intergalactic...

...planetary!

The kids have dubbed these two characters Robot and Bad Guy, and they often take on their personas when they play together: “I’ll be Robot. You be Bad Guy.”

We thought that was cute, and believed naming our new furry family members after them would make the kids even more excited for their arrival.

We were wrong.

The kids had other thoughts about what their names should be. Grey wanted to name her cat Balloony (“Because she will like to pop balloons!”), and as time went on she tacked on a couple of middle names (she’s obviously our daughter) including Coconuty and Treetop. West just wanted to call his cat Papery (“Because he will like to write on paper!”).

I told West that if his kitten was able to write on a piece of paper they could name them whatever they wanted. So far, he has yet to do so.

We assumed their love for these names would be fleeting, but their pushback was fierce. Every time we’d mention the kittens’ names it would turn into a battle of wills: “Her name is not Bad Guy! It’s Balloony!”

And so to keep the peace we decided to meet in the middle. The full name of Grey’s cat is Bad Guy Balloony Coconuty Treetop Shady, and West’s is Robot Papery Shady. They even have tags with their full names engraved on them. They’re very large tags.

It’s safe to say our vet will have an easy time remembering these cats.

Bad Guy & Robot!

We’ve yet to fully introduce them to Heisenberg but we’ll keep you posted on the transition as it plays out. At this point we’re just hoping Heisenberg doesn’t immediately murder/eat them… because they are pretty damn cute.

Balloony & Papery!

And coming soon… another dog,

-Shady

…but these three are pretty goddamn adorable.

They bring out the baby-talking moron in me,

-Shady

…we rescued four feral kittens from an evil demon beast of a woman who disguises herself while here on Earth as our asshole neighbor. Here’s a photo of the four of them in the carrier after we rescued them. Only two of their faces are visible but the other two are tucked away in the back.

After a quick vet trip, some tests, vaccinations and a pricey bill, Kathy showed the four off to a few coworkers and got two of them adopted! We brought the other two home and gave them a flea bath. They weren’t happy about it at all.

We named the remaining two Dr. Teeth and Floyd Pepper.

So yeah, it’s two down and two to go. If you live in or near Los Angeles and want a free kitten email me here.

I kinda want to keep one,

-Shady

Old Poop!