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…but that didn’t stop teachers from giving me some sweet awards over the years.

First, I got this Certificate of Citizenship (whatever that means) from Principal Josie B. Gray and my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Koury of Lowell Elementary in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This certificate was for “continuous effort” and “development of responsibility,” which you’ll notice are underlined. You may also notice that “good behavior” and “practice of courtesy” are crossed out. Yeah… sounds about right.

Framing that one!

I hit that milestone on June 10th, 1986 at only nine years old. BOOM, Y’ALL!

And on April 23rd, 1990, at the obnoxious age of 13, I got this Certificate of Award (pretty sure that’s not even proper English) for “Acting a Fool in Music Class” from Principal I.M. Nutty of Reform School. Or, more accurately, Mr. Ellington, my chorus teacher at Jackie Robinson Middle School.


I’ve made a living out of acting a fool,


…right here.

Stop Walker,


…is giving $500,000 to numerous schools across America. The school my mom teaches at, Burdick Elementary, is trying to rally a few votes in their favor.

The campaign, called Kohl’s Cares, is run through Facebook. Users can vote (up to five times per institution) for different schools. The schools with the most votes will receive $500,000. It’s that simple.

To learn more about Kohl’s Cares, click here. And, if so inclined, please cast a few votes for Burdick Elementary in Milwaukee, Wisconsin while you’re there.

The kids need it,


Old Poop!