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…which I had never done before. Obviously.

I’m not a good bowler by any means; every once in awhile I’ll break the 100 mark, but that’s probably as good as I get. But that’s with regular bowling. I thought that with bumper bowling I might be able to close in on the 200 mark!

I was wrong.

We bowled in this order (followed by our ages in parentheses): Audrey (3), Anthony (6), KB (ageless), me (37). Here are our scores:

I'm the worst.

I got my ass stomped by a six-year-old (and KB), and beat a three-year-old by only 11 points. Sigh.

Never was good at sports,


…had a dream about me last night. This morning, he emailed me the details:

You and I were in a car, just driving. You got a call and were told to pick up your little niece or cousin or whoever she was. We drive down to this pool, which is where she was at. We walk around this water park or whatever it was and there are three pools: one for adults, a baby pool, and one for the rest of the kids.

This kids pool was all decked out. It had some sort of jungle gym waterslide thing over top of it so you could run around the jungle gym, shooting squirt guns and whatnot, and then jump into the pool and swim.

So we’re walking around and we find your niece or cousin, whoever, and you decide, “Fuck it.” and jump into the pool, clothes and all. She gets all excited and follows suit. You two swim off and I think, “Well, I’m not going to let them have all the fun,” so I take off my shoes and shove my wallet, keys, phone, etc. into the toes of the shoes.

Just as I set the shoes down and get ready to jump in the pool, I see your niece walk angrily past me, her over-sized white t-shirt hanging heavily with water, dripping a long trail behind her.

She tells me, “We’re leaving.”

Confused, I look up and see a security guard escorting you towards the exit. As you are pushed past me, you say, “Don’t even ask.”

I don’t, and follow you to the car.

I’m glad I can invade you even your dreams, Frank.



Old Poop!