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Why don’t you do the world a favor and die already.

I truly feel down in my heart that you’re a waste of skin,

-Shady

…just when you’ve forgotten you ever had ’em, a flare-up occurs.

Disappear already, old man!

You’re the NFL’s most well-known quarterhack,

-Shady

I mean, seriously, every lady this guy has ever slept with has either disappeared or wound up dead, yet he keeps reeling in these young girls who are half is age!

The man is being investigated for murder and he’s engaged again! To a 23-year-old! And he’s, like, a thousand years old or something!

I don’t get it. Is he hung like a rhino? Does he cum pirate treasure? Or is it just his cold (and seemingly dead) eyes that pulls in all the ladies?

What can I do to get this kind of tail? Do I have to murder someone? My current girlfriend? If Kathy were to “disappear,” let’s say, or maybe “have an accident,” will 18-year-olds start showing up on my doorstep?

Sheesh.

Women are looking for lady killers,

-Shady

Old Poop!