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Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


“Fucking potato-microwaving leprechauns.”

– McFly, 12/8/16

Just like the old days,


No, seriously, did you?

I'm not kidding.

Because whoever sent it to me only signed it with a smiley face.

For reals.

The best part? It came in a “We Care” bag from the USPS, apologizing for the “damage” that happened to the “mail” during the process of shipping and handling. From what I could tell, the potato arrived in tip-top shape.

The USPS feels guilty.

So yeah, if you mailed me a potato… thanks. I think.

I would’ve preferred an avocado,


Old Poop!