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What the fuck?!?

I don’t remember that in the move adaptation,



…Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. Thank Christ.

What did I learn? To never read books on a laptop, phone, iPad, etc. Seriously, for whatever reason, it takes me forever.

Anyway, I’m now reading a book I’ve surprisingly never read before: Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

I can't not see Gene Wilder.

Quite a departure from the insanity of the Trump White House.

While I’m reading this one I’m also going to be reading two graphic novels that were recommended to me by my good friend Erik Rose. They are the first installment of Outcast by Robert Kirkman and Paul Azaceta, and The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy, David Fincher, Matz, and Miles Hyman.

Ping-ponging back and forth between the sweet and the sadistic.

It’s always important to balance out your children’s literature with stories of demon possession and horrifically violent murder.

Sedaris is next,


…Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. Sadly.

I think it’s taking me a super long time to get through because I’m reading a digital copy of the book, and I much prefer hard copies. I stare at a screen all day long, so when I try and read a book on my laptop in a leisurely way I almost always immediately fall asleep. So it’s either that, or the book is boring. Not sure which. Either way, I hope to finish it soon.

In the meantime, while slogging through the remainder of Fire & Fury, I’m giving a quick read to Rodney Dangerfield’s autobiography It’s Not Easy Bein’ Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs.

Rodney Dangerfield's "It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs."

I may or may not be reading this for a reason. We’ll see. Either you’ll hear more about it one day, or you won’t. Fingers crossed… but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

I know, I know… me of little faith.

I could never own a Kindle,


Edel Rodriguez's "Fire and Fury" cover that should've been.

…Tori Telfer’s Lady Killers (but not before dropping it into a bathtub full of water), so I figured I’d start off 2018 with, duh, Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.

I know there is speculation over the book’s complete accuracy, but here’s how I look at it: If even only 10% of what’s inside is true, it’s still shocking. And appalling. And gross.

The actual cover design of the book is shit, so instead I decided to post Cuban-born artist Edel Rodriguez’s take on what he would’ve done with the cover. Edel is responsible for many of TIME‘s recent Trump covers. Check out his work here, and then learn more about his cover illustrations here.

I enjoy a good mix of both fact and fiction,


"Lady Killers" by Tori Telfer.

The Choking Doberman and Other Urban Legends, and have decided to end 2017 with a book our good friend Milan recently gave to KB: Lady Killers by Tori Telfer, a book about the deadliest women in history. #Feminism

Because who doesn’t want to read about female murderers during Christmas!

Merry AXE-MAS,


Mr. Mercedes, and am now on to a book about urban legends called The Choking Doberman and Other Urban Legends by Jan Harold Brunvand.

"The Choking Doberman and Other Urban Legends" by Jan Harold Brunvand.

Actually, in between those two books I quickly read The World’s Shortest Stories.

"The World's Shortest Stories" edited by Steve Moss.

Edited by the late Steve Moss, this book collects extremely short stories from a wide range of authors. And I mean “short” as in “each story clocks in at (or under) 55 words,” which looks like this:

"Bedtime Story" by Jeffrey Whitmore.

Obviously, this is why I flew through it in an hour.

My good friend Jamie gave me this book for Christmas in 1998 (back when she was my good girlfriend Jamie), but I couldn’t remember if ever actually read it so I decided to give it a quick read.

Reading this book reminded me of a short story I wrote a few years ago called Robin’s Permanent Life-Change. I can’t remember why I wrote it other than the fact that the idea for it was sparked by my Aunt Robin. It doesn’t come in under the 55-word limit that the book requires of its stories, but at only 81 words it’s still pretty damn short. Check it out:

Robin’s Permanent Life-Change

Robin’s perm had been sitting on top of her head since Jimmy Carter sat in the Oval Office. She didn’t care what current trends dictated or close friends thought; she loved her perm, and she especially enjoyed the time she spent with Gladys, her hairstylist of nearly 35 years.

But when Gladys died suddenly of heart disease, Robin made a decision that would change her life forever: she would finally begin construction on the time machine she had designed decades earlier.

Anyway, I might be able to cram one more book into 2017, but we’ll see.

Maybe I’ll read the Bible for Christmas,


Stephen King's "Mr. Mercedes."

…Elie Wiesel’s Night quickly, and I’m now about halfway through Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King.

This book is a bit of a departure for me in that I don’t read a lot of fiction, and even when I do it’s never Stephen King. Not that I dislike King, I genuinely enjoy his work, but for whatever reason I haven’t read a King novel in nearly 25 years.

Other than reading through Night Shift for a second time a few years ago (after I bought it for Kathy for… something), I haven’t read a King book since he released Dolores Claiborne in 1992.

Mr. Mercedes also seems to be a departure for King himself who, with Mr. Mercedes, is straying from the horror genre he is primarily known for and instead trying his hand at a fairly straightforward detective novel.

We’ll see how the second half shakes out, but if it keeps me intrigued (or surprises me) I may check out the other two books in the trilogy.

Thinking about what I should end 2017 with,


Elie Wiesel's "Night."

…and I’m finished with the book about it, so now I’m on to Elie Wiesel’s Night which, somehow, I’ve never read.

This’ll be a quick one,


…through Blatty’s Legion, so now I’m on to this:

"Halloween: From Pagan Ritual to Party Night" by Nicholas Rogers.

Figured it was appropriate for the season.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year,


So good, and barely any exclamation points.

Legion by William Peter Blatty, which is a brillion times better than this turd.

Legion is the official sequel to Blatty’s The Exorcist, and the book was later adapted to become the third film in the series. (Exorcist II barely counts as a film, let alone a sequel… trust me.)

Both The Exorcist and The Exorcist III hold up as genuinely terrifying films, but this book is an absolutely fantastic read all on its own. Pick up a copy and give it a read if you’re looking to get into the Halloween spirit a little early this year.

This more than makes up for Jay! Anson!,


Old Poop!