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Get your pets spayed and neutered... AND LOCK THEM THE FUCK UP!

…of how many animals we’ve rescued since moving to Los Angeles, but the one above (which I rescued earlier today) definitely puts it in the 12 to 15 range.

Animal magnetism,


…wandering around a Lowe’s parking lot in Madera, California yesterday afternoon. They were lost, dirty and hungry. After luring them into our car with a grilled chicken breast we just happened to have on us (long story), we drove them to an animal rescue shelter in Fresno.

Since moving to California in November 2008, KB and I have rescued well over a dozen lost, abandoned or strayed animals. So to all the Californians who read “The Blarg” I beg of you, PLEASE KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR GODDAMN PETS!

I’m a sucker for misery,


True crime fascinates me (after all, I wrote a book about two serial killers), so when I get close to a bit of morbid history I go and check it out.

Tonight was one such example.

The Target my girlfriend Kathy and I shop at is about a mile or so away from the spot where a mystery killer dumped the body of Elizabeth Short (The Black Dahlia) back in 1947. I knew this, and took a short detour on our trip to the store tonight.

So we go and check out Norton Street (the location of the drop spot), and on our way back we see a stray dog walking across Rodeo Road, which is a busy street. Cars are stopping, the dog is freaking out and Kathy is instantly like, “We have to get him.”

Kathy jumps out of the car with a leash in her hands as I circle the block. Finally, she manages to get the leash attached to his collar and we pull off onto a side street to figure out what to do next.

How is it that we go from morbid murder scene enthusiasts to pet-loving good Samaritans? I have no clue. But we did.

We call our friend Jocco back in Milwaukee to get the number for L.A. animal control, and call to have them come pick him up.

Animal Control: “Well, it’s after 5PM, so we won’t be able to come and get him tonight. You can take him home with you tonight, and then call us in the morning and we might be able to come get him then.”

Me: “Huh?”

We asked for alternatives, and they explained that if we were willing to drive him there and drop him off, that they’d be more than willing to take him in.

And so, after a few minutes of us doing the very job that animal control should have been doing, our caring and concern paid off:

If it hadn't been for the Black Dahlia, we never would have met.
If it hadn’t been for the Black Dahlia, we never would have met.

So if this is your dog, please visit:

If this is your dog and you’re an asshole, please don’t visit that site. We’ll take him. I’ve already got a name picked out: Black Dahlia.

It was either that or Notorious Murder Scene, but that’s just too long to put on a tag.


Old Poop!