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For Christ's sake.

Not even close,



Please no,


Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.


“Siri, will you kill our neighbors?”

– Kathy, 11/9/13

She values her sleep,


Or Alborz Restaurant,


Old Poop!