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Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“I get the reference. Star Trek, right?”

– KB, after Robyn made a Jar Jar Binks joke, 6/3/16

She’s obviously never seen a Star Wars movie,

-Shady

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…or a fan of Audi commercials, but this is pretty great.

Though I am excited for the sequel,

-Shady

…and if you know me you know that I typically could care less. Most of this is due to the fact that I used to not see a lot of movies; some of it is due to the fact that I loathed those movies that would get nominated.

But this year, two things are different. First, since moving to Los Angeles we get to see a lot of free movies (especially Academy Award contenders). And second, 2009 was the first year in a long time that produced a good number of films that I consider to be Oscar-worthy.

So since this is the first year since 1995 (I was rooting for “Pulp Fiction” back then) that I’ve actually given a shit about the Oscars, I’ve decided to add my two cents to the insanity.

The full nominee list is below.

The people/films I want to win are in red.

The people/films I expect to win are in green.

And if I both want and expect them to win, those people/films are in black.

Also, I’ve only listed the categories I can comment on or care about. If I haven’t seen any of the films from a certain list, or if it’s a category I’m not interested in (sorry, Best Original Song) the list was omitted.

NOMINEES FOR THE 82ND ACADEMY AWARDS:

Actor in a Leading Role

  • Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
  • George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
  • Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
  • Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
  • Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Matt Damon in “Invictus”
  • Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
  • Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
  • Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
  • Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Actress in a Leading Role

  • Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
  • Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
  • Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
  • Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
  • Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
  • Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
  • Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
  • Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Animated Feature Film

  • “Coraline” Henry Selick
  • “Fantastic Mr. Fox” Wes Anderson
  • “The Princess and the Frog” John Musker and Ron Clements
  • “The Secret of Kells” Tomm Moore
  • “Up” Pete Docter

Cinematography

  • “Avatar” Mauro Fiore
  • “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” Bruno Delbonnel
  • “The Hurt Locker” Barry Ackroyd
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Robert Richardson
  • “The White Ribbon” Christian Berger

Directing

  • “Avatar” James Cameron
  • “The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
  • “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
  • “Up in the Air” Jason Reitman

Film Editing

  • “Avatar” Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
  • “District 9” Julian Clarke
  • “The Hurt Locker” Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Sally Menke
  • “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Joe Klotz

Foreign Language Film

  • “Ajami” Israel
  • “El Secreto de Sus Ojos” Argentina
  • “The Milk of Sorrow” Peru
  • “Un Prophète” France
  • “The White Ribbon” Germany

Music (Original Score)

  • “Avatar” James Horner
  • “Fantastic Mr. Fox” Alexandre Desplat
  • “The Hurt Locker” Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
  • “Sherlock Holmes” Hans Zimmer
  • “Up” Michael Giacchino

Best Picture

  • “Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
  • “The Blind Side” Nominees to be determined
  • “District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
  • “An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
  • “The Hurt Locker” Nominees to be determined
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer
  • “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
  • “A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
  • “Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer
  • “Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

Sound Editing

  • “Avatar” Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
  • “The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Wylie Stateman
  • “Star Trek” Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
  • “Up” Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

Sound Mixing

  • “Avatar” Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
  • “The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
  • “Star Trek” Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
  • “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

Visual Effects

  • “Avatar” Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
  • “District 9” Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
  • “Star Trek” Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

  • “District 9” Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
  • “An Education” Screenplay by Nick Hornby
  • “In the Loop” Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
  • “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
  • “Up in the Air” Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)

  • “The Hurt Locker” Written by Mark Boal
  • “Inglourious Basterds” Written by Quentin Tarantino
  • “The Messenger” Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
  • “A Serious Man” Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
  • “Up” Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

ctor in a Leading Role

  • Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
  • George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
  • Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
  • Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
  • Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Actor in a Supporting Role

  • Matt Damon in “Invictus”
  • Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
  • Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
  • Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones”
  • Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Actress in a Leading Role

  • Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
  • Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
  • Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
  • Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
  • Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

Actress in a Supporting Role

  • Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
  • Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
  • Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
  • Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Animated Feature Film

  • Coraline” Henry Selick
  • Fantastic Mr. Fox” Wes Anderson
  • The Princess and the Frog” John Musker and Ron Clements
  • The Secret of Kells” Tomm Moore
  • Up” Pete Docter

Art Direction

  • Avatar” Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair
  • The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Art Direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro; Set Decoration: Caroline Smith
  • Nine” Art Direction: John Myhre; Set Decoration: Gordon Sim
  • Sherlock Holmes” Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
  • The Young Victoria” Art Direction: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Maggie Gray

Cinematography

  • Avatar” Mauro Fiore
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” Bruno Delbonnel
  • The Hurt Locker” Barry Ackroyd
  • Inglourious Basterds” Robert Richardson
  • The White Ribbon” Christian Berger

Costume Design

  • Bright Star” Janet Patterson
  • Coco before Chanel” Catherine Leterrier
  • The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Monique Prudhomme
  • Nine” Colleen Atwood
  • The Young Victoria” Sandy Powell

Directing

  • Avatar” James Cameron
  • The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
  • Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
  • Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
  • Up in the Air” Jason Reitman

Documentary (Feature)

  • Burma VJ” Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller
  • The Cove” Nominees to be determined
  • Food, Inc.” Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein
  • The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers” Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith
  • Which Way Home” Rebecca Cammisa

Documentary (Short Subject)

  • China’s Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province” Jon Alpert and Matthew O’Neill
  • The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner” Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher
  • The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant” Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert
  • Music by Prudence” Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett
  • Rabbit à la Berlin” Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra

Film Editing

  • Avatar” Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
  • District 9” Julian Clarke
  • The Hurt Locker” Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
  • Inglourious Basterds” Sally Menke
  • Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Joe Klotz

Foreign Language Film

  • Ajami” Israel
  • El Secreto de Sus Ojos” Argentina
  • The Milk of Sorrow” Peru
  • Un Prophète” France
  • The White Ribbon” Germany

Makeup

  • Il Divo” Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
  • Star Trek” Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
  • The Young Victoria” Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

Music (Original Score)

  • Avatar” James Horner
  • Fantastic Mr. Fox” Alexandre Desplat
  • The Hurt Locker” Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
  • Sherlock Holmes” Hans Zimmer
  • Up” Michael Giacchino

Music (Original Song)

  • Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
  • Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
  • Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
  • Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
  • The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Best Picture

  • Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
  • The Blind Side” Nominees to be determined
  • District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
  • An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
  • The Hurt Locker” Nominees to be determined
  • Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer
  • Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
  • A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
  • Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer
  • Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

Short Film (Animated)

  • French Roast” Fabrice O. Joubert
  • Granny O’Grimm’s Sleeping Beauty” Nicky Phelan and Darragh O’Connell
  • The Lady and the Reaper (La Dama y la Muerte)” Javier Recio Gracia
  • Logorama” Nicolas Schmerkin
  • A Matter of Loaf and Death” Nick Park

Short Film (Live Action)

  • The Door” Juanita Wilson and James Flynn
  • Instead of Abracadabra” Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström
  • Kavi” Gregg Helvey
  • Miracle Fish” Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey
  • The New Tenants” Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson

Sound Editing

  • Avatar” Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
  • The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson
  • Inglourious Basterds” Wylie Stateman
  • Star Trek” Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
  • Up” Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

Sound Mixing

  • Avatar” Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
  • The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
  • Inglourious Basterds” Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
  • Star Trek” Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
  • Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

Visual Effects

  • Avatar” Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
  • District 9” Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
  • Star Trek” Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

  • District 9” Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
  • An Education” Screenplay by Nick Hornby
  • In the Loop” Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
  • Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
  • Up in the Air” Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)

  • The Hurt Locker” Written by Mark Boal
  • Inglourious Basterds” Written by Quentin Tarantino
  • The Messenger” Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
  • A Serious Man” Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
  • Up” Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

Calling my bookie,

-Shady

BAH!!!

Chin-sang,

-Shady

Man… I honestly don’t even know where to begin.

What transpired last night may be old-hat to regular Hollywood types, but it was a bizarre whirlwind for a bald Hungarian from Milwaukee.

So, yeah… let me start from the beginning.

Jorge came over early in the day and wanted to take a quick nap before leaving. I worked on some stuff while he slept, and around 6PM we finally left for Grauman’s.

Now, keep in mind that this is rush hour in Los Angeles, and we’re going to a blocked-off road that is literally packed with hundreds of screaming people. We were supposed to pick up our tickets before 6:45PM, and the doors were supposed to be closed at 7PM.

Luckily, these times are more suggested than they are set in stone. Of course, we didn’t know that and therefore found ourselves running from the parking garage to the red carpet.

Numerous fans approached Jorge during this sprint, asking for pictures and autographs.

Fan: “Mr. Garcia, can I get in a photo with you?”

Jorge: “Sure, as long as you can do it while we’re moving.”

So, needless to say, there are a few photos out there from last night that (if you didn’t know the story) appear as if fans are taking part in a marathon with Hurley from “Lost.”

We finally got to Grauman’s and were ushered into the press area. It was… how can I put this? Insane.

There were people everywhere: in the stands above us, across the street holding up photos of Hurley for Jorge to sign, yelling at us from every direction. There were a brillion cameras, a frillion video cameras and a zrillion screaming human beings.

It was at this point that I started to look around and realize that pretty much everyone around us was a celebrity.

“Oh, there’s Napoleon Dynamite,” I remember thinking. “And Simon Pegg. And Tori Spelling. And Hank Azaria.”

It was weird. I mean, it wasn’t exactly a starstruck moment, unlike the TRS. But it was something that I can only describe as being bizarre.

There were people everywhere. It was madness.

Here’s Jorge looking at fans across the street who were yelling his name:

Jorge Garcia at the "Star Trek" Premiere

And here are the photographers:

Photographers at the "Star Trek" Premiere

Seth Green was in line in front of us:

Seth Green at the "Star Trek" Premiere

As was Jon Heder and a guy I’m assuming is either his clone or his brother:

Jon Heder at the "Star Trek" Premiere

Here are a few more pics of the craziness that was happening in the middle of Hollywood Boulevard:

Fans at the "Star Trek" Premiere

"Star Trek" Premiere

Press at the "Star Trek" Premiere

Eventually, Jorge made his way onto the carpet with J.J. Abrams and his wife Katie. Here’s a picture of them, followed by a short video of them making their way off the carpet:

Jorge Garcia, J.J. Abrams and Katie Abrams at the "Star Trek" Premiere

After the photo area we were shuffled to a section where Jorge took a few quick questions from television and radio reporters:

Jorge Garcia doing some press at the "Star Trek" Premiere

As he did that, I walked around and shot a few more pics. Here’s senior citizen Spock (Leonard Nimoy):

Leonard Nimoy at the "Star Trek" Premiere

Followed by young whipper-snapper Spock (Zachary Quinto):

Zachary Quinto at the "Star Trek" Premiere

Finally, we made our way inside walking under the “Star Trek” spike:

The "Star Trek" spike in front of Grauman's at the "Star Trek" Premiere

And this, my friends, is where the evening got really weird.

First, Grauman’s Theatre is just an amazingly beautiful place to see a movie. It’s small like old-school independent theaters, but has a large screen and a great sound system. It’s kind of like a Model T that’s been souped-up with hydraulics and a sweet stereo system: an up-to-date classic, if that makes any sense.

The interior of the space is just as impressive, featuring a gorgeous ceiling. It was dark in there, but I managed to take a quick shot of it here:

The ceiling of Grauman's at the "Star Trek" Premiere

We were taken to our seats. Two rows up from us: Simon Pegg. To the right of us: Matthew Fox. Directly across the aisle from us: Jonathan Frakes who played Captain Riker on “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” (Thanks, Jocco!)

And sitting directly behind us… Samuel L. Jackson. And he was looking directly back at me.

Almost like a fart that accidentally slips out during the quietest part of a play:

Me: “Oh! Hello.”

Jorge turns around to see who I’m saying hello to and has about the same exact reaction.

Jorge: “Oh, wow! Hi there.”

Samuel L. Jackson: “Turn the fuck around and shut the fuck up, motherfucker!”

Actually, that’s just what I wish he had said because it would have made for a better story. What he actually said was:

Samuel L. Jackson: “Hello.”

I turned around and noticed he was there with a younger girl. I assumed it was his daughter, which was verified when Jorge shook his hand and said:

Jorge: “It’s really nice to meet you. I’m Jorge. I’m on a show called ‘Lost.'”

Samuel L. Jackson: “Yeah, that’s what my daughter just told me. Nice to meet you.”

My turn now, putting my hand out:

Me: “I’m Justin. I’m no one. I’m just here with him.”

Samuel L. Jackson: “And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger!”

Yeah. I wish. Instead:

Samuel L. Jackson: “Nice to meet you.”

So yeah, I geeked out a little bit. In my defense, so did Jorge. At one point he leaned over to me and whispered:

Jorge: “I feel like we should offer to switch seats with them.”

By the end of the night, we agreed that meeting Jackson was the high-point of the evening. We also agreed that it was kind of intimidating spending two hours sitting in a dark room with him directly behind us.

The best Samuel L. Jackson Moment (SLJM) came just as they lowered the lights. The movie was supposed to start at 7PM and they kept flashing the house lights to try and get people to take their seats. Unfortunately, this was having no effect on people.

Every time they’d flash the lights it would appear as if they were about to start the movie, at which point Jackson would say something like, “About time,” or, “Let’s start this.” Finally, after the third or fourth time, he began to get frustrated.

So when they finally lowered the lights at 8PM (an hour late) and everyone quietly scattered to their respective seats, Jackson could be heard loudly over everyone else’s whispering, saying:

Samuel L. Jackson: “Well, it’s a good thing this movie didn’t start at 7 o’clock like it was supposed to because these motherfuckers would’ve missed it!”

As long as I live, that phrase will be forever stamped into my brain. Sweet Jesus.

“Pulp Fiction” is in my top five films of all-time, and Jackson is probably the coolest person I could have met from that movie. (Sorry, Travolta.) So I show no shame in admitting that it was very cool to be able to shake that man’s hand.

J.J. Abrams got up and introduced the cast from the movie and they all stood up to accept their applause: Chris Pines, Zachary Quinto, John Cho, Eric Bana, Winona Ryder, et al.

A few of the original “Trek” guys were there, too, including Spock, Chekov and Sulu.

While Abrams was introducing everyone I gave a quick glance around the crowd and noticed that Doogie himself was sitting in the row behind us a few chairs down: Neil Patrick Harris.

When I was a kid, especially in high school, people used to call me “Doogie Howser” because they thought I looked like him, and maybe back then I did. Now, not so much. The years have been kind to Doog and not so kind to Shady.

Finally, after hours of anticipation, the movie began.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I don’t really like “Star Trek.” I know a little bit about it that I’ve learned kind of by proxy from being friends with my old college roommate, Jocco. But science fiction is, quite honestly, a genre I’ve never really enjoyed.

But since I was sitting in a room with everyone affiliated with the movie I decided that I wanted to watch it completely unbiased.

And I can say without shame or an ounce of sarcasm that “Star Trek” is a great fucking movie.

What’s great about it is that you don’t have to be a “Star Trek” fan to enjoy it. In fact, Abrams talked a little bit at the beginning about how he was never really a fan growing up. The same goes for a lot of the actors and other people associated with the film. This isn’t a “Star Trek” movie made by fans; it’s a “Star Trek” movie made by people who were just trying to make a good movie.

So, very much in the same way that “The Dark Knight” works on many levels for both Batman fans and non-fans alike, this movie is just a solid story from beginning to end. It has great character structure, an interesting story and (of course) great sound and visuals.

It was so good, in fact, that Jorge and I agreed that we’d both go again after it opens next Friday, this time taking my girlfriend Kathy along. That means that I will have to pay to see it which, if you know me, rarely happens.

After the movie we made our way to the after-party which took place in some warehouse/parking lot just off of Highland.

The party was a free fest. They had free everything! Free food! Free booze! Free Slushies! They even handed out free “Star Trek” drinking glasses which I think were sponsored by Burger King. Why do I think that? Because this huge Klingon King was walking around the party:

The Klingon King

We saw a few people at the party we hadn’t seen at the movie theater including Chuck (Zachary Levi), McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and Malcolm in the Middle (Frankie Muniz).

Jorge ran into Robert Weide who had directed him in an episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Weide said I should go over and have a conversation with Greg Mottola (director of “Superbad”) because it would be like having a conversation with a mirror.

This brings up a good point: There was a fair share of bald men with dark-rimmed glasses there last night, including “Lost” writer/”Star Trek” producer Damon Lindelof. On our way to the theater I joked with Jorge that if anyone came up to me wanting an interview with Damon, I was just going to go ahead and do it.

Of course, I didn’t really think that would happen. I mean, what are the odds, right?

Well, apparently the odds are pretty good, because throughout the course of the evening I was approached three times about how much someone loved my work on “Lost.”

“I just love your show,” they’d say as they tapped me on the shoulder.

“Oh. I’m not him. But he’s here somewhere.”

Bald white men with glasses are the new Asians: We all look alike. I’d like to go to lunch with Mottola and Lindelof and really freak some people out.

Before we left for the premiere I had told myself that I wasn’t going to ask people for photos, mostly because I’ve seen firsthand how Jorge sometimes gets bombarded.

But on our way to the after-party I found myself regretting not asking Samuel L. Jackson for a photo, so I told myself that if someone cool was at the after-party and it felt alright, I’d ask maybe just one person for a quick pic.

And here is my one:

Christian Slater and Justin Shady at the "Star Trek" Premiere after-party

Somewhat because of “Heathers” but mostly because of “True Romance.” I love that fucking movie. Christian had talked to Jorge earlier in the evening and he seemed really cool and down-to-earth so I figured, eh, what the hell.

And that was pretty much it. We went to another party at Crown Bar for about four minutes (and was given a nice shot of Patron), but quickly left when we realized we couldn’t even hear ourselves speak.

We made a quick late-night stop at Benito’s for some 2AM tacos and made our way back home.

Before I wrap this up, I want to leave you guys with two images. They had one of those photo booths at the party where you dress up in goofy outfits and get your photo taken. I like to think of these next two photos as our prom shot, something to print out and keep in a frame for decades so we can constantly be humiliated by them.

Enjoy!

Are you ready for your exam?

Two dorks walk into a Hollywood premiere after-party...

Thanks for the night, Jorge! I had a great time and really appreciate it.

Live dong and prostate,

-Shady

PS: Before leaving yesterday, I had a theory that Trent Reznor was going to be at the premiere. I thought that might be the case because he had made a few joking comments on his Twitter page that he might have to cancel the May 8th tour date for Nails because it was the opening night of “Star Trek.” Then he followed up with something like, “Got it figured out.” So yeah, I kept an eye open for him last night but didn’t see him anywhere. Then, this morning, Kathy found this online.

Motherfucker. I knew it!

I just found out that I will be Jorge’s date this Thursday night for the premiere of “Star Trek” at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre!

OH-EM-GEE!

What should I wear?!? Will he try to kiss me at the end of the night?!? If so, should I sleep with him?!?

In all seriousness though, this is going to be unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It might even be more nutty than my Trent Reznor Situation (TRS).

So stay tuned for a full report and pictures!

The wrath of (Comic) Con,

-Shady

…that will be out later this year. My longtime friend Jeremy R. Scott (also known in larger circles as Jocco) will be illustrating it.

I’ll definitely be talking more about the book here in the next few weeks, but I wanted to spread the word about Jeremy’s new website. More specifically, about the online store section where he sells limited edition prints.

Jeremy’s been busy these past few months making new pieces based on a whole slew of pop culture yumminess including “Star Trek,” “Shaun of the Dead” and numerous Batman villains, to name a few.

Here are a few examples!

The Joker

"Shaun of the Dead"

"Star Trek"

The prints are a pretty good size (13 inches by 19 inches), a pretty good price ($30) and signed by Jeremy (priceless)!

So hop on over to his store here, and be sure to check out his actual site here when you’re done.

Nice work, Jeremy. Proud to finally be doing a book with you.

He’ll always be Jocco to me,

-Shady

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